Love: Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed...

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 287

You deserved it 2 727

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 678

You deserved it 2 722

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 686

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 666

You deserved it 12 258

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 14 903

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 91

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 612

You deserved it 1 297

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 574

You deserved it 5 767

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 788

You deserved it 4 597

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 689

You deserved it 11 751

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

Comments

zenrael 21

Tuesday 9 June 2015 21:40

It's his special way of asking you to shave your legs more often. Hope you didn't get burnt too badly!

Solano2580 24

Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:29

I feel bad for you OP, I'm not gonna say to dump him, I hope he's smarter than he sounds otherwise this won't be the end of it

PrestonWolf 13

Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:46

ιт ѕoυndѕ lιĸe нe нad one тo мany aм ι rιgнт or aм ι rιgнт?

Cringey 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 6:17

Who would ever think throwing alcohol into a fire is smart?

putitinpark 7

Friday 12 June 2015 6:13

That's why you don't throw fires. Catching them can be very painful.

AnirudhR 16

Friday 12 June 2015 12:09

Was Sex On Fire playing in the background?

Austanious 8

Friday 12 June 2015 16:34

I hate it when a perfectly good birthday party gets snuffed out

jmaine1 4

Friday 3 July 2015 19:25

thats what you get for drinking alcohol. lol. ydi

imatotalloser 20

Monday 22 May 2017 18:44

Who the **** throws a bonfire in the summer

Sam Fisher 13

Thursday 23 July 2020 7:40

Seems like something my gf would do...while completely sober

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Relatable Kids Family Babysitter Thief Money Depression Mental health Health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 79

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 622

You deserved it 7 126

The Top

Today, my friend and I went to dinner. At the end, he told me that he’s had feelings for me for a while and wants to be more than friends. I don’t see him that way, so I tried to gently reject him and wanted us to stay friends. He stiffed me with the bill and said, “You can walk home then, buddy!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 181

Today, my mother got rid of all my anime DVDs and Manga collection, the reason being that she’s tired of me immersing myself with “ching chong cartoons” and she’s afraid I’ll turn into a “Beijing communist puppet.” Only 10 more months until I turn 18 so I can move the hell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 194

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 949

You deserved it 697

Today, I heard the very loud buzzing of a fly nearby, and I felt a tingly sensation on my arm. I thought there was a fly on my arm; I was half-right. There were, in fact, two flies having sex on my arm. That's something I will never unsee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 253

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 152

You deserved it 4 003

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 500

You deserved it 47 137

Same thing different taste

Great idea

Smash

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