Animals: Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain...

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 07:27 - South Africa

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 089

You deserved it 6 200

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Same thing different taste

By abi_vet_student - 13/02/2009 12:42 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 866

You deserved it 7 085

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 778

You deserved it 834

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 969

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 088

You deserved it 2 815

Glamorous...

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 361

You deserved it 363

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 102

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 287

I love the countryside

By disturbed - 01/06/2014 01:53 - Ireland

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 994

You deserved it 5 705

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 479

You deserved it 11 664

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 430

You deserved it 2 488

dtbomb 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:07

What a shitty job. lol

SayItNicely 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:08

Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...

Comments

theUBERcomment 1

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:14

You just got dumped. lol

rayluvsu_59 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:46

uh dude. you go from the side, not the ass

lolmyendoff456 7

Thursday 21 April 2011 2:54

lmao lesson learned?

hetzer127 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:42

hahaha shitfaced.... happy 4/20

zSapphire15 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:11

So I was eating ice cream while reading FML. Then I read this... Threw up for 45 minutes LOL Anyways, I feel so sorry for you {:

darlingdollie 24

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:43

What are you tomorrow?

Nafan01 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:33

pink eye

Fuckedyourlifean 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:14

bulls eye!

joyyluvsya 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:32

ewwww

MJ_Goobs_Xx 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 7:05

that must be an extreme case of pink eye XD ydi for practically sticking your head up the cows ass while she dies her business

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The Top

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 413

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 907

The Top

Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 053

You deserved it 8 581

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 102

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 675

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 482

You deserved it 3 709

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 566

You deserved it 51 856

Today, getting ready to go out, I turned on my straightener. After 5 minutes, I start straightening one big strand when I realize I'm smelting plastic into my hair. Turns out I'd left it on a plastic box. Of course, plastic never comes out, so I had to cut it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 212

You deserved it 2 134

Same thing different taste

Glamorous...

I love the countryside

Nature is healing

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