Animals: Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket....

By Cathy - 17/01/2012 00:33 - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 773

You deserved it 3 426

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Same thing different taste

By katams - 26/02/2012 12:28 - United States

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 776

You deserved it 5 298

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

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You deserved it 253

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 202

Warming it up

By Erin - 02/01/2021 20:01

Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML

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You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 394

Tidy your room

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 20:03

Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 428

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 4 294

Stinky

By mickymoose1 - 19/07/2020 02:02

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 143

By jlujan00 - 18/11/2015 23:40 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 205

You deserved it 2 907

antart3 18

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:03

I hope you will keep their litter :)

tmd4L 7

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:07

Doggy style.

Comments

RadioOctopus 16

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:30

;) does that jacket happen to be a fur coat? haha so cheesy

xwabombwx 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:33

Red rocket, red rocket!!!

julz0125 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:34

Don't ever work in the veterinary field

Belgiangirl_fml 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:41

Gross!! Does he try it when you have it on too?

wildsweetchild 19

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:47

I guess it's your dogs favorite jacket too )))

Jonkbaby 22

Tuesday 17 January 2012 11:48

who did you buy your jacket from, Cruella Deville? I mean, weird

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:07

It's so sexy, it makes him jack it.

brianfantana32 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 6:53

Clever perdix

itstesshomo 2

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:07

*it appears

robc32ca 4

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:15

If it's your favorite jacket, why do you throw it on the floor?

izzy7 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:28

Try hanging it up instead of tossing it on the floor.

AubreyDucrat 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 12:55

And that's why you spay and neuter...

julz0125 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:36

I agree...smartest comment yet

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 January 2012 15:37

No. My dog is neutered and he still humps everything that moves. He has a favorite blanket that he works it out on.

tsprings 2

Monday 27 August 2012 18:57

A neutered dog will still hump, but won't ejaculate. So, no wet spots if neutered. (: And I agree, smartest comment yet. My first thoughts exactly.

Keywords

Relatable Students Mental health Work Kids Parenting Awkward Embarrassing Love Wanker Intimacy Family AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, we went to disperse my father's ashes in his favorite lake. My brother was anxious to show off to his new wife, and took us to a fancy resort on the lake. He fell into the lake with my dad's ashes. Nobody laughed when he got out. Oh and as he's a stingy ass, I ended up paying for the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 121

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 3 790

The Top

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 316

You deserved it 19 635

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 731

You deserved it 18 799

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

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You deserved it 1 762

Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 733

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

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Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

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