Kids: Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next...

By thecathater - 09/07/2013 13:35 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 820

You deserved it 7 110

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Same thing different taste

By tony - 24/07/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 587

You deserved it 7 671

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 8 324

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 22:01

Today, I got home to some mad woman in my yard screaming about pregnancy and rape, and I almost had a heart attack thinking my son was being accused of some terrible crime. Turns out she was accusing my 15-year-old tomcat of impregnating her prize winning white fluff-ball of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 116

By Bad Mother - 08/10/2015 11:53 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 898

By kittynapper - 17/07/2014 23:32 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 511

You deserved it 6 879

By anonymous - 04/09/2016 22:12 - United States - Morristown

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 4 086

By ihatekids - 20/04/2015 16:57 - United States - Billerica

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 198

You deserved it 3 721

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 005

You deserved it 5 513

By flaggurl - 10/03/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 082

You deserved it 12 222

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 203

You deserved it 2 823

flashback.miss 28

Tuesday 9 July 2013 18:47

Make him wash it...with his tongue.

morganrules123 10

Tuesday 9 July 2013 18:50

If it smelled as bad as cat urine, your son may need to see a doctor.

Comments

legendxs 20

Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:10

Make your son work and then pay for a car wash. Or make him wash your car himself.

Ranimal 12

Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:41

Well, when he gets a car, you know what needs to be done.

APPLEZACKS 9

Wednesday 10 July 2013 23:34

How'd you find out??

soixante444 7

Thursday 11 July 2013 6:04

I'm guessing marking your territory has changed for humans

jadevv 12

Monday 15 July 2013 3:24

Wow

amisenho 11

Monday 22 July 2013 23:02

Is your son's name Shin Nohara?

love389 1

Friday 2 August 2013 11:12

My friend used to pee on the floor because she was so depressed she really did not give a **** so either he's depressed or he's just a disrespectful asshole, before you get really mad at him I would have a talk

darylwill1 2

Monday 19 August 2013 7:20

Make his ass clean it up

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The Top

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 5 027

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 311

The Top

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 482

You deserved it 3 198

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 439

You deserved it 4 657

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 694

You deserved it 35 175

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 364

You deserved it 66 244

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 190

You deserved it 4 048

Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 387

Same thing different taste

Mistaken identity

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