Kids: Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing...

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 632

You deserved it 7 509

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 511

You deserved it 8 473

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 2 585

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 556

You deserved it 3 440

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 294

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 013

You deserved it 2 304

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 2 587

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 952

You deserved it 428

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 362

You deserved it 35 751

By docwinters - 27/05/2013 12:39 - Australia - Bathurst

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 163

You deserved it 4 999

Anbuntou 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:14

Children. Aren't they just precious...

slick5880 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:21

Shit happens. :)

Comments

thehoneybadger 10

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:31

Wow. What a little brat.

PinkFun1969 9

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:38

This child is going to be a handfull. You should start while she is young making her life a living Hell!!

yesmanddd 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:03

no way in hell you're 31. Just saying.

stacianichole 2

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:11

A lot of personal info in that profile, too... weird.

bubblepaarty 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:39

wouldn't you have seen it considering you were on your knees ? o.O

shortyife 0

Monday 24 October 2011 13:32

I was wondering the same thing! did he kneel down w eyes closed? makes no sense.

rocker135 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:40

Then you get up and snap your belt twice and give her a ten second headstart

here4theparty 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:07

Im glad you posted your same shitty comment three times. Thanks.

rocker135 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:40

Then you get up and snap your belt twice and give her a ten second headstart

CourtneyDanielle_fml 9

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:22

Yeah, because abusing a small child - or any child for that matter - is alright, for something she probably thought would be funny. Not something she didn't know was wrong. Gtfo.