Kids: Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker...

By unnamed - 26/07/2011 03:19 - United States

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 516

You deserved it 39 191

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Same thing different taste

By Amber Rutledge - 27/01/2018 00:00

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 428

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 259

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 337

Red Forman's spirit lives on

By amber s - 18/10/2022 22:00

Today, my idiot son tried to load the dishwasher while the dishes inside were clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 375

By jimmy - 30/11/2015 21:27 - Canada - Orangeville

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 988

You deserved it 2 474

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 454

You deserved it 9 384

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 380

By Anonymous - 25/09/2016 11:22 - United States - Hills

Today, I went downstairs completely naked to get water, completely forgetting that my daughter had a sleepover and they were in the living room. The ice dispenser woke some of them up, including my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 198

You deserved it 13 272

By WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 903

You deserved it 1 126

By ScaredDad - 02/05/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 252

TheRealBruce 12

Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:13

oh noo!

MsSoulReaper 27

Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:16

You just got owned by your son. haha

Comments

tookietookie123 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:14

You, are indeed stupid...

Futacy 29

Wednesday 10 August 2011 23:04

kids: what would you do without them?

mama8809 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:18

Hahahahaha

moonballsFTW 0

Monday 22 August 2011 20:06

Ya, um how did your child end up having common sense with you as their parent.

BritLass 15

Tuesday 13 September 2011 23:34

Haha! You should be glad that your son is smarter than you! :D

iLoveFamilyGuy 7

Saturday 28 April 2012 21:53

Hey! all the way above my comment is that gay guy from the neighbourhood!

blakeford 5

Friday 10 August 2012 21:54

Waz up dumb momma.

DecembersShadow 2

Sunday 12 August 2012 12:36

Hahahaha XD

SergioB11 14

Sunday 10 April 2016 2:29

If he laughs at you for that make fun of him because you had to teach him how to use a spoon

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The Top

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 368

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 10 525

Today, a guy I liked came to pick me up for our first date. As he opened the car door, I noticed nearly an inch of dog hair on every surface of the interior. Not wanting to get it all over me, I asked if we could take my car instead. He was so “insulted” he drove off and left me standing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 417

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 467

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 104

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 239

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 7 774

Same thing different taste

Boys will be annoying boys

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

Red Forman's spirit lives on

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