Love: Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend.... - FML

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 213

You deserved it 9 641

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Same thing different taste

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 553

You deserved it 3 996

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 963

Manchild

By pixiebubz - 06/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 930

You deserved it 29 414

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 071

You deserved it 6 011

By jellyybean - 05/09/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 648

You deserved it 5 857

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

I'll be back

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I said yes and started gushing over the wedding, buying a house, having kids… He was smiling up until I mentioned kids. One discussion, followed by one blazing row later, he left with the ring, his clothes, and his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 384

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 637

You deserved it 10 771

Boom, headshot

By oof - 09/07/2020 23:01

Today, my fiancé and I were discussing whether we should have a gun in the house or not. He argued that I’m too clumsy to have one. Offended, I turned around to storm off. I hit my forehead on the cabinet I'd left open and immediately started gushing blood. Point proved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 1 792

Next

Top comments

PrincessCastiel 27

Monday 6 January 2014 23:13

It's nerf or nothing

obelisk_43055 6

Monday 6 January 2014 23:12

He seems immature

Comments

SWC_Penguin 17

Monday 6 January 2014 23:19

[A grease-stained mechanic emerges, wiping his hands on a rag.] Well there's your problem!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 6 January 2014 23:20

The nerf of him!

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 6 January 2014 23:20

He's got some nerf!

SmokinGuns 13

Monday 6 January 2014 23:22

Sounds like he's too immature to think about that yet.

speakersboom 19

Tuesday 7 January 2014 3:06

Sounds like something I would do. :)

JMichael 25

Monday 6 January 2014 23:23

Hopefully he's just messing with you, if not don't break up with him. Talk to him and discuss each of your feelings on marriage. Maybe you two can come to an understanding.

perdix 29

Monday 6 January 2014 23:27

And this is why your better states don't allow 14-year-olds to marry.

challan 19

Tuesday 7 January 2014 0:38

But he's her cousin so it's alright.

tukies 28

Monday 6 January 2014 23:38

Honestly nerf guns are a lot funnier than marriage anyways.

lightanddark 17

Monday 6 January 2014 23:40

well, that settles whether he thinks he's ready, and whether you think he's ready

mrd_princess 6

Monday 6 January 2014 23:56

If he likes it than he should have put a ring on it!! Maybe he needs to mature a little.

speakersboom 19

Tuesday 7 January 2014 3:12

Why put a ring on it when you can just stick a nerf dart to it?

specialist8404 10

Tuesday 7 January 2014 0:04

When in doubt nerf out!

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The Top

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

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You deserved it 61

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 189

The Top

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 769

You deserved it 3 477

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 338

You deserved it 4 251

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 888

You deserved it 9 030

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 548

You deserved it 8 373

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 462

Today, my girlfriend and her best friend have been in a contest to see who can go the longest without showering. They’ve just hit day 22. They smell so bad, I can’t stand to be in the same room with them anymore. I'm really about to dump her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 259