Work: Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that...

By Medic - 29/10/2012 03:10 - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 4 342

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Same thing different taste

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 9 474

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 345

You deserved it 579

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 121

You deserved it 4 089

Death Rattle part 2: Electric Boogaloo

By 0h_Boy - 04/03/2020 18:00

Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 167

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 395

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 760

You deserved it 2 490

By ohmygosh - 21/07/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 645

You deserved it 48 664

Assumptions

By Heather Scurfield - 06/03/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 85

Timewaster

By HMM - 28/07/2010 11:42 - United States

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 000

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 526

You deserved it 4 937

StoryOfTheYear 14

Monday 29 October 2012 9:06

No! Anything but the organs! How will we play church music :o

j_cat187 19

Monday 29 October 2012 8:59

*Pulls out chainsaw. We all know your intentions.

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 29 October 2012 18:36

Did they void their bowels?

Calingaladha 21

Monday 29 October 2012 18:48

What a terrible cecumstance. I hope she'll liver life to the fullest after this.

zyadon 7

Monday 29 October 2012 21:08

Can we have your liver?

i_love_giraffes 5

Monday 29 October 2012 22:14

"Well, you see, I'm kind of using it at the moment." Wife: "I told him not to sign up for that silly Liver Donor's card!"

Ray_of_midnight 22

Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:34

Monty Python Meaning of Life FTW

BobbieH 19

Monday 29 October 2012 22:15

That's a really funny slip up, as long as you're saying it to someone other than me! We all make slips of tongue, so FYL and laugh it off now that its past!