Work: Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that...

By Medic - 29/10/2012 03:10 - United States - Puyallup

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 4 341

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 9 473

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 344

You deserved it 579

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 121

You deserved it 4 089

Death Rattle part 2: Electric Boogaloo

By 0h_Boy - 04/03/2020 18:00

Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 167

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 393

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 759

You deserved it 2 490

By ohmygosh - 21/07/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 645

You deserved it 48 663

Assumptions

By Heather Scurfield - 06/03/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Witney

Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 85

Timewaster

By HMM - 28/07/2010 11:42 - United States

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 000

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 525

You deserved it 4 937

StoryOfTheYear 14

Monday 29 October 2012 9:06

No! Anything but the organs! How will we play church music :o

j_cat187 19

Monday 29 October 2012 8:59

*Pulls out chainsaw. We all know your intentions.

Comments

benmec 18

Monday 29 October 2012 10:14

I got first dibs on the liver!!!

Ugi 26

Monday 29 October 2012 10:43

You have to see why they might be worried! I hear there's quite a market in pre-loved kidneys!

bwzwally8 15

Monday 29 October 2012 11:21

I'm pretty sure that would kill them...

emtman 6

Monday 29 October 2012 12:38

I'm a paramedic. That's not gonna be the last time something like that happens.

lainie75 3

Monday 29 October 2012 13:29

I'm an EMT also, and I've said some pretty crazy stuff too especially at the end of a 24 hour shift.

buckdharma 36

Monday 29 October 2012 13:47

zombie paramedics. omg the apocalypse has started.

dunebro 15

Monday 29 October 2012 14:12

Nice trolling.

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 29 October 2012 14:42

With Oct 31 in two days, it's appropriate.

skyeyez9 24

Monday 29 October 2012 14:58

Black market Organ trafficking is apparently very profitable.

NagainaFier 16

Monday 29 October 2012 18:17

Nathan Wallace, is that you? I thought you died!

coroala 8

Thursday 1 November 2012 20:40

No, this is Patrick!

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I agree, your life sucks 37 784

You deserved it 3 775

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I agree, your life sucks 32 008

You deserved it 5 461