Miscellaneous: Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate...

By story of my life. - 21/02/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 171

You deserved it 34 414

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Same thing different taste

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 6 565

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 216

By eyepatch - 19/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 859

You deserved it 414

By Missedtheboat - 30/10/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 677

You deserved it 32 603

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 797

You deserved it 20 720

Halloween freakout

By cuz803 - 01/11/2022 16:00

Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 144

By Pwnedofthedead - 03/10/2009 15:34 - Canada

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 799

You deserved it 3 786

By I'm an asshole - 03/11/2016 21:46 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns out, he had an infection in his ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 255

You deserved it 1 609

By suhleedah18 - 19/12/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 2 647

Rocket man

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 04:00

Today, I attended my wife's cousins wedding. While trying to help struggling teens with fireworks, I got shot in the eye by a commercial-grade firework. I spent the rest of the night in the ER, then headed to see the eye doctor. I have about 75% of loss of vision. Hopefully it's not permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 253

I_love_BOAD 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 0:18

He sure understands it was a misunderstanding. it would've been worse if you said 'ARRR'.

Effedtothemax 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 23:06

Wow, F HIS Life!

Comments

Kiron 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 15:21

I kind of wonder how you can "really like" someone without even realizing that they're missing an eye.

iamananglophile 18

Saturday 3 November 2012 3:08

OP never said she really liked the guy, just that she liked his costume.

dalsanman321 0

Friday 13 March 2009 9:52

what was the reason for the bird on the shoulder?

Roobydo 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:33

he's heard that so many times it probably doesn't even phase him anymore. in fact, its pretty badass if you ask me.

takemeaway10 0

Monday 27 April 2009 21:52

I lolled @ #15

ny1996 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 21:22

"BB gun" douchebag

Haileykins 0

Friday 26 February 2010 2:51

i didnt know Bebe made guns! "pop a cap in style, bitches!"

Link5794 18

Sunday 5 September 2010 3:00

the_flirttt 8

Saturday 2 April 2011 8:27

it's BB gun! not bebe!

tomtom88_fml 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:29

it's spelled bb not bebe...... asshole

strawberryspacejam 11

Sunday 5 February 2012 1:21

its spelled bb gun dipfuck

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The Top

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 85

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 677

You deserved it 37 446

Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 80

Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 78

Today, I was anonymously sent screenshots of texts from my new boss to my interviewer, saying I got almost all the questions wrong but to hire me anyway because they’re hiring quota has to be at least 40% women. That’s the only reason I got the job, tits and no brains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 555

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 2 255

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 239

You deserved it 47 525