Intimacy: Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over...

By Username - 05/08/2011 14:05 - United States

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 69 674

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Same thing different taste

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 99

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 111

You deserved it 2 587

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 5 407

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 734

You deserved it 44 790

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 4 177

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 128

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 660

You deserved it 527

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 267

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 3 228

By myparentsarehoes - 03/08/2009 16:33 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 301

You deserved it 5 764

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

...well done, my friend. Well done.

Weetart 8

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

ohhh you deserved to be there in the brawl.

Comments

fluffinmycup1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:58

How is that an fml u should be glad u only got that rather than some broken bones

_Number9 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

"Today, some ass decided to start a rumor about me and my "********** problems". FML" Doesn't that seem more reasonable?

randomness45 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

How is this an fml? The guy was lucky

rezzel 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

sounds like a win to me

reddawn85 8

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

Man Card revoked.

iAmScrubs 19

Friday 5 August 2011 19:01

"What did you just say about my dog?"

ambowew 7

Friday 5 August 2011 19:08

Which one?

ThatsSOBforshort 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:01

Wow...just wow.....

stevenb8 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:04

You had a chance to be in a bar fight and you left. What the **** man

sourgirl101 28

Friday 5 August 2011 19:15

IKR. I know people that stir shit up just so they can throw a few punches around. (:

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 5 August 2011 19:04

Sounds like a scene in a movie.

Mr_Chow 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:07

Your a prick to be fair

hotPinklipstick 24

Friday 5 August 2011 19:10

Mr Chow!!!!

Keywords

Work Mental health Relatable Students Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Wanker Intimacy Family AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cops Cars Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 798

You deserved it 16 310

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 16 216

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 568

You deserved it 9 463

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 539

You deserved it 3 622

Today, I was the first to sign up to play the national anthem for my school, at one of my volleyball games. My teacher told me she would bring my sheet music. She didn’t. So I just sat there, awkwardly, not playing my cello. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 195

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 16 190

Today, even though I help cook and clean on a daily basis, I got called lazy and told I don't do anything around the house. I live with my parents and twin 18-year-old brothers and they all say this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 98

Same thing different taste

Demon drink

Damn, son

You're grounded!

Fun for all the family

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