The Patriarch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Mentor

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 528
You deserved it 4 340

Top comments

To be fair, that is not entirely wrong, considering a tampon works like a sponge anyway. I say A for effort.

Nice parenting... you'd think he would have done a quick Google at some point before she hit puberty.

Comments

To be fair, that is not entirely wrong, considering a tampon works like a sponge anyway. I say A for effort.

drayloon 50

Dad solutions are like dad jokes. They seem ridiculous at first, but if you think about them, they actually make sense

There are sponge tampons made in Europe.

I just hope it was a clean sponge... eeeeew

"Honey, where's our dishwashing sponge?" "In our daughter. " "What the fu-"

Sponges are the single dirtiest household item.. this screams of infection.

Nice parenting... you'd think he would have done a quick Google at some point before she hit puberty.

therealjc_fml 14

Being a single dad when that happened with my daughter last year....first thing I did was a quick Google search and call my sister. Mostly for reassurance. At no point did I think throwing a sponge in her underwear was the answer.

Steve95401 49

#18 - you're a good dad and you did better than I would have if faced with that situation.

To be fair, some girls get their periods extremely early. I got mine at ten. He may have not thought to do a google search and thought she was too young to get it. Although there are definitely better options than a sponge.

I'm kind of surprised he didn't get a general idea if the wife has periods herself... unless, OP is also a guy as well.

39 - Yeah, but you're supposed to explain it to them BEFORE they get it, meaning you should be googling even before that. So even if you think they could get it between 11 and 15, you tell them about it at like 10. Of course OP's husband should just know because it's a fact of life but you know, ignoring that...

How is he married, has at least one child, and NOT aware of what a pad is? I mean, what adult male doesn't know at least that much?

I'm glad my dad was brought up to not be embarrassed by periods. Made my mum's life easier, and meant less worry for me. I lost my mum, imagine having a father like in this FML if that happened! It's 2015, any good father should know the basics and be willing to learn.

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#4: Wait, which part of it is disgusting to you?

tazloona are you a 12 year old boy? cuz I hate to break it to you but no girl really loves having to bleed through her bottom for days at an end And deal with the cramps that accompany that situation but guess what? nature made us that way. calling us disgusting is the same as saying a man's sperm is gross

In all fairness, **** is kind of gross, and I say that as a man myself.

br00kr 22

My first period I just lay on a couch because the cramps were so bad until I went to the bathroom later and found my "surprise".

yup that's how it happened to me. I laid on my moms bed with the worst stomach ache and then, surprise!

I was at school, my 8th grade year, horrible cramps, I went to the bathroom at the end of 6th period and surprise! Remember that day vividly, I know the date and year xD

larrena2377 26

I was in the middle of a basketball game. I felt terrible but couldn't be taken out because I was 1 of the only 5 people on the team. Let's just say when I got to go to the bathroom after the game it was a disaster. Then I had to tell my dad because I couldn't find my mom.

I woke up for my fist day of high school and thought "this is going to be a long 4 years if it started out this shitty"

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

I was on the jungle gym and my friend had to tell me she thought I started. total awkwardness.

My first period was in 7th grade on 9-11 during school hours in the morning. I was unprepared and no one else had a pad to spare. The nurse was of no use because they give out panty liners and my flow started out heavy.

Theater_Chef_3 30

Mine was in 8th grade on Halloween, I was out with friends wearing white, luckily I was already covered in fake blood so you couldn't tell I bled through

br00kr 22

oh that would be terrible if you were wearing white. I've only had once like 3 months ago that the cramps were almost as bad as that first time.

I was 12 going on 13. I had been admitted to the hospital days earlier for a different reason and I was just sitting up in my bed. No cramps but I was feeling uncomfortable. I removed the covers to look for something and noticed I was sitting in a pool of my own blood.

Ugh. Nice to know I'm not the only one. I cramped for days before that first period, and I was eight years old, sitting in my third grade classroom during state testing, so I couldn't leave the room until the whole class finished. When I did find it, the nurse refused to believe me because I was young.

I got mine on a snow day. At my dads house. Fun

Wow just looking at other people's doesn't make mine look that's bad especially #82

I was 9 and just went to the toilet and found it, i can't remember much else. All I know is I got banned from a game the day before and the following day I started year 5.

my first period ended up being when I was 11 and at summer camp with my school. for the rest of the trip I was pretty much going 'i can't do arts and crafts. I'm a WOMAN now, not a child'.

I had my first right after I turned 11. Thankfully, it was a weekend, so I didn't have to deal with other kids at school seeing it (because they would've undoubtedly made fun of me for it), but I was home alone with my 13 year old brother. Poor guy had no clue what to do.

I never had the puberty or sex talk so I never knew what a period was until I got mine.. My first time, which was in grade 6, I ran downstairs to the kitchen with my bloodstained PJ pants and told my mom I was bleeding from "down there".. My little brother wasn't too impressed that morning to say the least..

Astrum14 24

I don't remember my first period, but I didn't tell anyone I had them for months, as I was simultaneously embarrassed as hell and scared as hell that I was dying.

doctor__who 19

Fourth of July the summer before 8th grade. I was at a party with my family and couldn't go home until really late at night. To make things worse, I was wearing white shorts at the time.

countryb_cth 38

I was ten and before it hit I went to the hospital because I thought I had appendicitis. Sure enough that weekend I was at a friend's house when I went to the bathroom and yup it started. My friend was freaking out and didn't know what was wrong and why was I bleeding. I told her why. Then I shoved toilet paper down my pants and contuined on with the night. It was light and I didn't have cramps. Then the next day hit and omg I wanted to die.

I'm getting flashbacks of 8th grade, my 13th birthday, and dancing onstage at the Christmas concert. I'm pretty sure the entire crowd knew what was up before I did.

I got mine mid year 7 after school. I was told about it but still freaked out. I shoved a heap of toilet tissue down there and then waited till I got home 45 minutes later to seek help

Mine was overnight in grade 7, I sleep through everything. found out the next day, calm as ever.

I got mine in the middle of finals week. Not ideal.

I was living with my dad at the time. He had to give me "the talk"

ndnpride88 25

Atleast he tried but he could've went to the store for her lol.

Did dad not think to use Google? It really is a wonderful tool

When your child is withering in her first period pains, I'm pretty sure you're to panicked to think of things like that.

#11 not every girl is withering in pain during her period.

tantanpanda 26

I think "writhing" is the word you're looking for. Withering makes her sound like a plant.

So he MacGyvered it. I mean technically that's the right basic concept and should work, at least temporarily, despite probably being at least slightly uncomfortable.