Health, Weird, Religion and Parents: People's mad beliefs

People's mad beliefs

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 08:00 - Australia

Today, my fanatical Christian stepfather told me that my genetic illness is a result of demon possession, and that I'd be cured if I allow his church to perform a "healing prayer demon expulsion" on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 93

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hail science! - 10/08/2019 16:00

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 116

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 124

Exorcism time

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 18:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 165

You deserved it 1 902

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 117

By anonymous - 06/07/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 500

You deserved it 3 712

It's not a cult, I swear

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 20:19 - United States - San Diego

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 033

You deserved it 3 597

Batshit

By fuck your indoctrination - 26/03/2021 09:01 - United States

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 89

By hooligyn123 - 04/09/2012 08:53 - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 1 852

By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 929

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 23:01 - United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 923

You deserved it 3 034

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 April 2022 15:05

Ask him if they'd do a "healing prayer boot expulsion" after you stick yours up his ass?

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 26 April 2022 5:13

Healing prayer boot expulsion sounds like a great album name.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 April 2022 15:05

Ask him if they'd do a "healing prayer boot expulsion" after you stick yours up his ass?

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 26 April 2022 5:13

Healing prayer boot expulsion sounds like a great album name.

imgabella 15

Thursday 28 April 2022 23:31

Do it do it do it and report back to us please

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

Today, I need a remote position due to a disability, but no company will even try to work with me. My car just died. I'll never be able to live on my own, despite being 30. The worst part? All the people who are gonna reply and call me "entitled." FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 133

The Top

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 404

You deserved it 5 460

Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 97

Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 878

Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 95

Today, at 16 years-old, I got "the talk" from Dad. He began with, "I don’t really need to give you the talk do I? It would just be awkward for us both." I agreed with him, and we drove home in silence. Thanks for avoiding the awkwardness, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 345

You deserved it 374

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 764

You deserved it 30 092