Friends, Dogs, Sleep and Awkward: No vacancy

No vacancy

By Uber at midnight - 11/07/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, my friend invited me over for a sleepover. Only she didn’t tell me until it was time to go to bed that she expected me to sleep on the floor, as she had three dogs sleeping on the couch, and two more in her bed. She could’ve at least warned me to bring an air mattress or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 105

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By bananagurl4242 - 16/07/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 166

You deserved it 4 456

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 277

You deserved it 40 931

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 233

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

By sen - 19/02/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So… when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 2 633

Good boy

By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 5 953

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 147

Landlords gonna landlord

By katurday - 03/11/2009 15:59 - United States

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 482

You deserved it 6 459

Movie night

By MediaBabe - 23/02/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

Today, my friend had invited me to his home for a movie night with another friend. I had to decline because I have prior plans. He then revealed that they only wanted me there so I could bring DVDs, but "don't worry, we'll find something on Netflix to watch instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 08/04/2015 10:52 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 18 859

Hangryko 29

Monday 11 July 2022 23:15

Judging by your username, I'm glad you left. Hopefully your friend learns from her blunder. P.S., she should invest in dog beds.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 5:46

What was wrong with the couch? The dogs would've loved it.

Comments

Hangryko 29

Monday 11 July 2022 23:15

Judging by your username, I'm glad you left. Hopefully your friend learns from her blunder. P.S., she should invest in dog beds.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 5:46

What was wrong with the couch? The dogs would've loved it.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 12 July 2022 6:32

Three Dog Night?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 12 July 2022 6:40

Dogs bring "Joy to the World" on the road to Shambala!

Yudith 24

Tuesday 12 July 2022 13:00

Maybe she expected you to sleep on the dogs.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Tuesday 12 July 2022 15:05

Must..not..make...doggystyle joke...

wysegirl 24

Wednesday 13 July 2022 16:15

It would have been. waste with the air mattress since enough would have just had holes in it from the dogs.

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Mother in law Miscellaneous AITA Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 809

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 1 708

The Top

Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 284

Today, I had to deal with a grown-ass woman having a tantrum at me because the plane, which she was over an hour late for, dared to set off without her. Yes, DARED TO, as though she thought she was so special that it was reasonable for a plane with hundreds of passengers to wait just for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 90

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 53

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 048

You deserved it 32 291

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 2 645

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 11 399

No vacancy

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

With friends like these…

Good boy

Grossed out

Landlords gonna landlord

Movie night

Top comments

Comments