Monster couch

By smurfette7413 - 13/10/2020 05:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little fun when the pull-out couch decided to try to eat us. Now I have a broken nose and my boyfriend keeps making jokes about the "human eating couch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 201

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 215

You deserved it 3 204

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 468

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 263

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 698

You deserved it 865

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 702

You deserved it 7 859

By Katt - 25/04/2016 18:04 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 748

You deserved it 6 914

Pussy power

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 5 580

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By taiannalynn5 - 02/03/2011 23:43

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 7 752

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 13 668

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 October 2020 5:43

You could always make a joke back that the couch's pull-out game was stronger than his. That'll shut him up.

Chandl3r 9

Tuesday 13 October 2020 7:54

Sounds like your boyfriend has a sense of humour and that they're a keeper.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 13 October 2020 5:43

You could always make a joke back that the couch's pull-out game was stronger than his. That'll shut him up.

Chandl3r 9

Tuesday 13 October 2020 7:54

Sounds like your boyfriend has a sense of humour and that they're a keeper.

BrotherTheo 31

Sunday 25 October 2020 0:20

Mimics, they're a problem EVERYWHERE....

Keywords

Video games Gamers Love Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs Pranks AITA Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

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