Intimacy: Make it stop

Make it stop

By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 214

You deserved it 5 514

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 068

You deserved it 3 887

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 486

You deserved it 3 415

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 428

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 37 514

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 854

You deserved it 11 965

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 2 660

Sinking feeling

By aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 6 286

All figured out

By Toroka - 29/07/2016 18:59

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 953

You deserved it 1 019

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 675

You deserved it 5 202

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 515

MrJentipede 2

Monday 25 May 2009 16:04

Thanks for the heads up, mom.

mucrew 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:05

you should have said "yea i agree"! and gotten into a deep discussion with her...so she'll feel really awkward too! haha

Comments

illeyad 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:41

I have to be honest if my mom told me that stuff, I'd be 1. uncofortable because it is my mother! 2. Annoyed because she has a better sex life than me *pouts*

dizzy_dizzy 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:42

That's awful, why would she tell you all those things? Why would she think you would like to know such stuff? Well, FYL.

Rawrrr14 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:47

Parents like to have sex talks in the car because they figure you have no where to go (basically your trapped). Happened to me many times, start carrying your ipod with you :-]

kapay 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:48

Dude, I gotta get my g/f up on that hormone tip.

Ryno 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:48

Can I get your mom's number?

sceneteasex3 0

Monday 25 May 2009 18:02

That's effing sick. TeeHee... "Oh, hi son. Did you know that there are over 1,000 sizes of penies? Also, I can ****** way more. Why are you turning on the radio? Okay, so as I was saying-there are so many penises in the world, it's just so lovely. When are we getting home? PENIS!"

Weil 0

Monday 25 May 2009 18:03

You should have told her to STFU.

jeanniner 0

Monday 25 May 2009 18:03

I'm so glad my mom has never talked about sex with me. *knock on wood*

FrostyNorth 0

Monday 25 May 2009 18:08

Hormone replacement therapy increases the risk of breast cancer by 24% and ovarian cancer by 58% after 5 years. Perhaps you should consider this next time you wish she'd stop talking.