Animals: Just do it

Just do it

By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 4 457

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Same thing different taste

By Twitchy - 14/09/2011 23:20 - Bahamas

Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 757

You deserved it 3 158

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 788

You deserved it 49 889

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 740

You deserved it 1 808

By Birdwatcher - 18/09/2012 16:19 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 182

You deserved it 4 737

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 783

You deserved it 9 199

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 02:08 - United States - Gardnerville

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 3 581

By Pierce - 05/06/2009 16:56 - United States

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 4 477

The bird

By Mariah Barnes - 24/07/2020 08:01

Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 234

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

NodakN8V 25

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:52

Cats are assholes

Rawrshi 25

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:51

They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D

Comments

xwingtwo 15

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:50

That would be one dead cat.

Rawrshi 25

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:51

They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D

tygerarmy 35

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:27

My kitty has killed many things and brought them to me. It's love. I wonder if the OP's cat brought the OP the baby bird.

Rawrshi 25

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:37

My cat has brought me several live bats, lizards, birds, and a couple of rats. Usually it's dead things left in easy-to-step-on-in-the-dark places though. Like, stop you adorably floof covered murder ball. I don't want and am, quite franky, disgusted by your dead things.

Ichiya 29

Sunday 22 February 2015 6:06

Thats probably why witches used black cats. Crawling through the woods at night looking for small animals to use in their dark magic must have been hard on the older witches especially. Cats were the logical choice as they do the hard work for you.

nityasomaiya 46

Sunday 22 February 2015 7:58

Its happened to many squirrels in my yard. Now they're there, and poof! Little kitty ate 'em. I hate cats :/

NodakN8V 25

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:52

Cats are assholes

DarkMatter115 13

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:10

If cats are assholes then that means... everyone has a cat!

musoboy 22

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:42

14: actually that's not right. All cats are assholes but not all assholes are cats.

mindjob 14

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:52

Survival of the fittest, I suppose

jfletcher 3

Monday 23 February 2015 20:41

actually human domestication and overbreeding of cats combined with protection from any form of selection pressure means that this isn't totally applicable. cats are acting as an invasive species and are devastating song bird populations in the United States and it is actually very detrimental to the ecosystem.

youngmessi252525 20

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:53

I laughed at this, am I going to hell now?

knight2109 12

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:48

Yup, I'll see you there.

obey_clarence 18

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:56

I thought I saw a pussy cat

Smooth_Criminal 24

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:11

Man, Tweety didn't speak perfect english. *facepalm* Get it right.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 22 February 2015 9:53

I tawd I taw a puddy tat!

BlindlyWandering 17

Saturday 21 February 2015 23:59

I'm sorry, but I laughed REALLY hard at this!

thespiantess 18

Sunday 22 February 2015 2:16

Me too. I imagined the cat thinking "I wish I could catch that bird..." and then hearing OP's "you can do it" like it was directed at him, and that's where he got the motivation to kill the bird :p It's your fault, OP!

xwingtwo 15

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:01

Get a dog to eat the cat

laurenswims13 24

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:02

Your cat was just trying to be friendly...in a different way.

feven 32

Sunday 22 February 2015 0:04

Get an exorcist ASAP

abattior 18

Sunday 22 February 2015 1:11

why?

WattledParsley 11

Sunday 22 February 2015 1:48

Yea that didn't make any sense at all.

feven 32

Sunday 22 February 2015 2:40

It's a joke :/ not meant to be taken seriously.

WattledParsley 11

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:32

classicsparkles 17

Sunday 22 February 2015 4:32

32: bruh it has to make sense tho.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Sunday 22 February 2015 5:10

Maybe, just maybe (and this is a stretch) she was talking about how OP can subconsciously use the Devil to mind-control animals to do her murderous bidding.