Kids, Pregnancy and Family: He gets around

He gets around

By Anonymous - 14/09/2026 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 2

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Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 14 September 2026 22:10

Not that this wouldn't make it any less nauseating than it already is, but please tell me your parents are divorced.

Comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 14 September 2026 22:10

Not that this wouldn't make it any less nauseating than it already is, but please tell me your parents are divorced.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Mysterious Creepy Scary Plumbing Health Healthy Lifestyle Smoking Ironic Anger issues Dogs Animals Confused Grandparents Cute Kids Love Awkward First Dates Family Pregnancy Gross Work Weird Tinder NSFW Sex Intimacy Relatable Periods

The Top

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 885

You deserved it 14 220

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 787

You deserved it 53 761

Random

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 605

You deserved it 2 143

Today, I went to my fifth job interview in a month. While going over my CV, I found a watermark on the bottom of my cover letter that said it was generated by a template website. Yep, I gave all previous interviewers the same cover letter, with the same watermark. Can't wait to hear back! FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 1 952

Today, I got off a long shift and went to the bus stop. Upon arrival, I saw a girl giving a guy a blowjob. Disgusted, I tried to avoid them and sat on the bench to wait. The girl popped up angrily and looked over at me. "Can't you give us some privacy?!" This is the only bus stop nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 117

You deserved it 316

Today, after I mentioned my boyfriend on a cheesy Facebook quote, he told me to check the post. I then saw my old comment with my ex's name in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 2 965

Today, I took a massive dump in a trashcan in the back of my company's catering truck. We have a professional tailgate spread for clients to enjoy at the local games. My boss got drunk and left me to work it alone for 8 hours. The closest bathroom is 1/2 mile away. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 150

Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 123