Surprise!
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Top comments
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Forget you, **** that cat's life. On the other hand, being thrown into a bucket and covered in a pool of puke is a decent torture method I'm adding to my list. Thanks, OP!
reallytho3 11
Somewhere God is on his throne laughing his ass off...
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Comments (223)
bn326160 13
Golden shower! And F your cats L :p
Ownord_fml 10
That's a roman shower x)
BarDownDaily 12
**** your cats life, not yours!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
The last time I remember pissing puke I had way too much of my username in my system.
HetaliaFreak 10
You puke gold?
Amrel 10
Um miss thats not a golden shower. Unless thats how you remember it like from a personal experience in the past.
Keyman1212 14
R Kelly would like to meet you...
HetaliaFreak 10
I know, I said it because a golden shower is when.......well, ya know. She said golden shower referring to puke, which is why I said that.
HetaliaFreak 10
Sorry, I thought 23 was talking to me!
RaggleFrock 13
Kitkat chunky more like
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol comment 8 restates the last sentence of comment 1 and still gets thumbed up.
RinnaRae22 8
#24- Best comment ever.
Kefka91 15
If OP had eaten some Fruity Pebbles earlier in the day, then that cat would have gotten a nice Cosby Sweater. (Look it up on Urban Dictionary if you don't know what I'm talking about folks)
n_epic_fail 14
That poor cat has to go hide in a corner and lick your puke off itself in order to get clean again... Or you can go threw the torture of giving it a bath -_- **** BOTH your lives
The_Weirdo 10
Op , please tell me you didn't have poptarts earlier, or else you are in danger of having a rogue nyan cat on your hands.
melibear89 7
#1 your a ******* idiot.
Meowingtons500 18
126- While you're insulting someone, it's good to know the difference between you're and your. Otherwise you'll end up looking like the "******* idiot." :)
BarDownDaily 12
48- She edited her comment after I posted.
StoryOfTheYear 15
156- I don't think it was wrong that you posted the same thing. I was pointing out the irony that you ended up getting thumbed up instead of getting buried.
BarDownDaily 12
160- Sorry I misinterpreted it.
taytay6510 6
I'll bet that was one STINKY pussy..
Ozone1232 5
126- You're*
Buschmeister 0
:)
Buschmeister 0
:)
melibear89 7
82 And 145 I'm sorry I'll try to be as perfect as you. Was this free of spelling errors?
AmbrosiaWriter 17
It is free of spelling errors, but has a handful of grammatical ones.
Meowingtons500 18
I'm not perfect or here to argue. I'm just a nice person who enjoys defending the innocent and laughing at FMLs. Go ahead. Tell errybody what a perfect bitch Meowingtons500 is. Scream it from the rooftops. Have a commenting rage fest. Getting defensive after someone proves you wrong is human nature. But seriously bro. Don't call random people ******* idiots. It's rude. :)
crossfier 0
Lol got to hate them golden showers
BigRob247 0
I just LMAO at this post. Sucks to have to clean it up tho & @#1 damn you are pretty
ICATiger 13
Pussy in a bucket??
SillyFart 7
More like a cat in a pale
kjcookie10 9
I'm surprised that cat hasn't tried to get revenge yet by ******** on your face while you were sleeping...
Zeppelin1969 5
Some peoples' cats would have clawed their faces off like mine.
Llama_Face89 34
32- pail*
takrushi 4
That's one stanky pussy now.
Mandy0325 1
Should have over fed him so he wouldn't have be able to get in it..just sayin..:)
doctorwhogirl 0
cats can be so annoying sometimes- but fml for the poor cat covered in puke, they have to like themselves clean you know.
ArcadePie 10
Poor poor cat
MikeDa1Da 14
Today, I decided I'd sleep next to my owner in the little bucket by his bed. He decided to thank me by vomiting all over me. FML
StalinsHeir 1
*Lick
lindseykcool 6
How is the cat the annoying one??? If I were the cat, id be pretty pissed at OP. -___-
NanillaVipples 2
I, for one, like myself dirty.
mapwellminner 4
I accidentally thumbed this down :P not sure why it got so many negative votes o.O love the name by the way! Dr Who rocks.
doctorwhogirl 0
I know isn't doctor who amazing, sadly the majority of my friends don't like it so when I talk about it it doesn't go down very well. and I meant to say lick obviously but spelled it like Instead.
eurostar710 11
42- make that an FML! Haha
willliamfriend 18
Or she could give the poor cat a bath.
steadycreepin 5
Damn cats..
Jakesterk96 8
Upset stomach, diarrhea! -pepto bismo
lindseykcool 6
I love cats..
HetaliaFreak 10
Damn humans.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Forget you, **** that cat's life. On the other hand, being thrown into a bucket and covered in a pool of puke is a decent torture method I'm adding to my list. Thanks, OP!
Liimitless 6
I charge 15/hour
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Bah! Shoo, off my comment ya sick *****! Shoo! Shoo, I say!
Liimitless 6
63- are you high? We will not be "shooing" anywhere! Thanks for the offer though...
xSonic 9
Yeah but if the cat wrote an FML about this incident, I'd click YDI
SecretMe00 5
Why do so many people on here hate cats? My child is an orange tabby and I'll protect and love him till death!!!!!
btstig 11
That's why you have no friends. Cats suck.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
People hate cats because they can't understand that they won't be anybody's little slaves. Cats do whatever the **** they want, whenever the **** they want. Why? Cause they're cats, that's why. In order to be on good terms with a cat, you've actually got to put work into the relationship, and play the game their way. Dogs, on the other hand, mostly just require feeding, and are automatically your best friend. I, personally, am more intrigued by the complexity of the relationship between humans and cats. Then again, my cat also happens to be pretty mild mannered.
SecretMe00 5
But don't all relationships worth having require effort? Everything doesn't run by my cat, I'm the owner and I tell him what he can and cannot do. He's only allowed outside when I take him. He eats when I fill his bowl and goes to the vet when I drive him. He even rubs against me when he hasnt got much attention lately. He needs me just as much or more than I need him. It's a companionship just like the one you can have with a dog, a ferret, rabbit, etc. But of course the relationship will vary depending on the animal because all different kinds of animals have their own personalities and qualities. Like guinea pigs tend to be lazy, dogs are friendly, and cats are selfish. It's just the quality god made that specific animal with.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
94 - I'm just going by the most common complaint I've heard from people about cats, which is that they don't listen, and that they don't love you unconditionally the way dogs do. I wasn't saying that the cat gets to run the household. You can make it do what you want it to do, but you can't make it love you back the way you love it. That part takes playing by the cat's rules, because it's just an animal after all. For example, if the cat doesn't like being approached (most cats), you have to wait until it approaches you. Also, there are some pretty mean cats out there that give the good ones a bad name. I suppose as a species, they're not as domesticated as, again, dogs. As you said, cats are selfish, and that's what puts people off the most. I personally don't care, because I enjoy giving love more than I enjoy receiving it, so it works out perfectly for me.
SecretMe00 5
Ya I see your point. I wasn't trying to argue really. I just really love animals and my cat especially. But your correct on the approaching situation. Now that I think about it, cats can be stubborn little brats, but that'll never stop me from taking care of them and loving them.
lindseykcool 6
86, shutthefuckup.
melibear89 7
#80 you need a life
lizliz23 0
#127, NO, U need a life, the fact tht u took the time 2 read through all the comments @ least down to 80 proves tht u rely just havr nothing better 2 do, and therefore, no life, however, u r rite about 80, mabey u 2 can both get lives together
ShroomsOnAcid 17
127, If she needs a life, you need a heart. What's wrong with loving your pet? Isn't that what they're for? 128, I'm not even going to tell you what you need, as I think it's obvious and we can all see it.
SecretMe00 5
Thanks 132
ShroomsOnAcid 17
No problem, 137. Stupid people are amusing.
ilyWoods 5
Have you ever had a Siamese kitten? Most people think siamese are snobby, but if you have just one, and as a kitten, it will bond with only one person. That Siamese will devote it's life to it's bonded companion. They are a breed of their own!
SecretMe00 5
I had a Siamese cat when I was younger but I don't really remember anything about him. I didn't know that interesting fact about them though .. Hmmm that's good to know! I might look into getting another one some day.
SecretMe00 5
If I'm using my iPhone how do I check my inbox? I don't see it anywhere. ( I know it's an off topic question)
btstig 11
121. Go kill yourself.
XxHoPPoxX 8
A GOOD CAT IS A DEAD CAT!!!
ladyLALAA 29
Talk about a cat fight!
sovietkiwi 0
Poor cat
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Cats are the sneakiest little *******
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I'm too mesmerized by their magically fluffy cuteness to care.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
I'm loving your username :)
suxs4ulol 22
i is fluffy and cute?
ihasbrains 10
Cats don't use FML, nice try.
ShakeMeDown 12
What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze...
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Do they dream of mauling zebras, Or Hallie Barry in her catwoman suit...
ItsTheKing 10
Or Hallie Barry in her cat-woman suit mauling zebras.
Kyzahhh 7
You would be surprised with what cats really do...
Longboardowen 5
That's why it's hard to find em you beastyality awaits
ihasbrains 10
Cats don't use FML, they spend time taking pictures of themselves. Then add funny captions. They have better things to do than discuss why picking noses over Skype is gross.
vannahbaby420 0
Ohhhhhh I'm so sorry :/ I hope u feel better n find someone to help clean ur apt
reallytho3 11
Somewhere God is on his throne laughing his ass off...
ZDK5498 6
better clean up REAL good.... dont want visitors smelling the stench of vomit... lysol: disinfect to protect
upyourzlolz 11
Puke-a-boo!
HetaliaFreak 10
Today, I was taking a nice nap. All of a sudden I'm being showered with smelly, disgusting vomit. FML
ladyLALAA 29
OP's cat has an FML account?