Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 19:32 - Germany - Hanover

Today, i told my partner, with whom i have been with for decades, that i don't want to move into the house we bought and which he is renovating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 18:30 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my friend said that they wanted to change their name to SCP-035. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 09:59

Today...I caught my girlfriend snorting meth using her baby to try to block my view. She said I made her uncomfortable and that we are done. Called a close friend and said we needed to talk. He replied "I'm sorry bro, she was drunk and I didnt know you were talking like that."...FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 4

By Theo - 25/01/2021 23:39 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today me and my girlfriend were kissing and I started groping her butt, got my fingers in the top of her crack and it was slippy as hell in there. Pulled my hand back my fingers were COATED in poo like she hadn’t made any attempt to wipe at all in at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 15:19 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today it’s one of the coldest days of this winter. In order to keep warm outside, I actually need less clothing than I need to stay warm inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 09:32

Today, My boyfriend says I should forget about the girls he cheated on me with because they were nothing to him. He cheated on me with over 5 chicks.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 00:48

Today, my dad kicked me out of the house for smoking weed now I have to live outside I’m 22 FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 95

By "Amanda G Rich" - 23/01/2021 18:05

Today, due to an unknown illness that makes me super nauseous and dizzy, I've seen 10 specialists. None of which know what's wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 13:45

Today, my teacher was screwing us on projects. Mine was the best and she showed it to others. We're all from different schools and she used to teach in my old school. She said mine was good because of my old school's way. No, it's because I'm pedantic and others didn't put much effort. She just robbed me of credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 01:31

Today, I went to Dennys for dinner, and after I finished drinking my first glass of lemonade, I asked for another. My mom decided to body shame me in front of everyone in public and everyone, including the elderly was staring at me while my mom lectured me. Some people were snickering, and some were filming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 00:53

Today, makes a year since my mom mentioned to me that she and my dad prayed for a still born baby over a gay one. At the time of her telling me this it caused my first ever panic attack. Thinking i was having a heart attack, i called my boyfriend over ,over, and over. I have been ignored since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 20:11 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today I kicked our cat. And realized, the thing about cats is: They have no concept of the fact that humans cannot see them in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 45

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 21:05

Today, I moved away for college and every time I go home I make sure to see my best friend (of 10 years). Long story short he curved all my texts and calls one time over the holidays because he was depressed over a girl. A year later he still refuses to talk to me or acknowledge the that we were ever even friends.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 01:31 - Australia

Today, I spite slept with my sister’s husband, He told me he would leave her for me, but he lied. I'm going to confess the whole thing at their anniversary party before I hand him the confirmed pregnancy test and the invoice for the abortion. There's your souvenir. Bitch.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 68

By Soj254 - 17/01/2021 21:00

Today my wife who I have been with for 13 year told me that it’s over and from the start we were never going to work at all...now I’m cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 23:10 - India - Bangalore

Today, I started wishing that my parents divorced. In my 18 years, I've seen my parents fight more than seeing them happy. It has had such a huge impact on me that I did not function as a normal person and they have taught me by their actions more of what not to do in life, rather than what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 14:11

Today, I tried to return to university after I deferred several years ago due to poor health. Despite having withdrawn without penalty, and not completed any units with them, they told me my GPA was too low to allow me in. Their suggestion? Complete two or three units to raise it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 10:46 - Germany - Emden

Today my therapist tells me to keep a list of things I am thankful for. The only thing I can come up with, that I am genuinely thankful for, is the fact that my life hasn’t turned out even worse. Because things can always be worse, I know this from experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 11

By Sarah - 15/01/2021 16:45

Today, I checked how many condoms we had left in case I needed to grab more at the store. It was a 12 pack, and we had 2 left. I bought the first box over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 14:24 - Germany - Emden

Today my mom doesn’t think it necessary to change her bed sheets, even though there is period blood on them. It’s not even her blood, either. It’s our dog’s. Hence the dog hair, dirt and sand that is also on the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 21:30 - United States - Rochester

Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 19:50

Today I publicly removed all bad republicans from my life and also came out as non binary and bi, and my mom removed me from her life without a single word to me. I halfway expected this but, it still hurts after we were trying to start fresh. My mom chose bigotry and homophobia over her child. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 08:44 - United States

Today, Last night, the hubs was all about teasing me and getting me all worked up, promising to deliver the D once we got home. We get home and I’m ready. And he decided he was tired and went right to sleep? It’s been about a month since I’ve gotten ANY action FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 15:50 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today I was having sex with my new boyfriend he made me cum so hard I pooped a little... he texted me about it after I got home. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 19:55 - Germany - Zittau

Today my feet hurt so bad I can hardly walk sometimes. Doctors and even an MRI could find nothing wrong with them. 25 years later, a simple massage therapist reveals the simple reason for my pain: My fibula is sitting too low. Not that there was a way to fix that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 18:55 - Germany - Zittau

Today I have a toothache whenever I eat sweets. Turns out my wisdom tooth had a hole. I got the hole fixed. Now I have a toothache whenever I eat or drink anything at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 13:22 - India - Sikka

Today, I heard my mom and my 11 years old sister talking about how being gay or bi is funny and everybody should be straight.I'm bi(14 years old) and haven't come out yet.FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 15:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today after cooking dinner for the two of us, I asked my privileged boyfriend if he could walk me home. He refused. After I spent 20 min explaining to him the dangers of walking home in a sketchy part of the city at sundown for a petite woman, he asks: “do you still want me to walk you home?” FML.

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 20:59

Today while I was kissing my boyfriend he said he was still thinking about the girls from a YouTube video we watched before that. The worst part? I noticed that during the video he was touching himself but I thought it was because we were naked in bed together.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 11:32 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today the garbage truck forgot to take our garbage. When my neighbor called to complain, the truck came back, backed about 20m into our cul-de-sac, then left, again, without taking the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

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The Top

Today, thanks to my husband's obsession with needing a massive garage built instead of a bog standard garden shed, we dug up some Roman building last week, and our garden is now swarming with archaeologists banging on about history and ruining my weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 1 152

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 37 403

The Top

Today, I was helping my cousin plan her backyard wedding. I requested September 19-21 off for visiting and festivities. My asshole of a boss is refusing, because of some proposed Area 51 invasion. I have no idea what he’s talking about, and I’m afraid I might miss the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 173

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 450

You deserved it 11 250

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 536

You deserved it 55 372

Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 606

Today, a dog came up to me while I was sitting on my porch. I used my belt as a leash to go try to find its owner. After an hour of looking in the rain, I gave up and let it go. Now I'm back in my house and it won't stop pawing and barking at my door. It's 3:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 1 210

Today, I desperately needed a mental health day, so I took the day off work and got some junk food and wine. A few hours later, I'm in hospital with gallstones and pancreatitis, needing an emergency surgery. My mental health day turned into multiple weeks off work, and a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 221