Transportation

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 18:59 - Norway

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 578

You deserved it 14 972

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 897

You deserved it 7 059

What a ride

By Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 243

By Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace - 31/01/2013 11:34 - United States - Riverside

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 522

You deserved it 42 307

By scarlet5000 - 26/09/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, there was a traffic accident on the highway which I normally take. I couldn't resist laughing at the driver since he was stupid enough to rear-end someone on the highway. What I didn't realize is that I forgot to pay attention to the road and rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 228

You deserved it 75 655

By thatgirl34 - 09/02/2012 11:29 - Australia

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 347

You deserved it 18 709

By llostinreality - 30/09/2018 07:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, the blinker on my car was broken so I decided to play it safe and drive a different car to work. I guess it wouldn’t have mattered which car I drove, as the cop nicely told me one of the headlights was out when he pulled me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 021

You deserved it 409

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 871

By InDebt - 04/02/2016 04:47 - United States - Morgantown

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 509

You deserved it 1 970

I'm OK, I swear

By Anonymous - 18/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 328

Stuck in neutral

By Anonymous - 08/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 962

You deserved it 3 628

By crashednowcrushed - 26/04/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 372

You deserved it 14 860

By thelistman - 10/10/2009 01:58 - United States

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 380

You deserved it 2 802

thelistman tells us more.

thelistman 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 13:13

Also, for the whole story, I had three other people in the car with me when I was caught "running a red light" by 2 cops who were both behind me. I was clearly in the middle of the intersection when the light turned yellow. I have a feeling that the judge was in a shitty mood that day. This was my first ticket I've ever received, and I've been driving for seven years. Even if I was guilty, I don't know why my fine was $1,000 with a license suspension when the original ticket was $75, and no other tickets on my record. This judge is going down.

By Anonymous - 01/09/2017 20:00

Today, I put a magnet on my brand new car. I got rear-ended by someone who was trying to read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 878

DMV blues

By driver - 06/01/2010 14:55 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently, according to the state of Illinois, I'm dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 571

You deserved it 2 824

By shit_fer_luck - 16/12/2014 16:35 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 641

You deserved it 2 537

By UKRukus - 18/01/2016 21:13 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 400

You deserved it 1 385

UKRukus tells us more.

UKRukus 12

Wednesday 20 January 2016 4:57

It was not a routemaster. im a londoner too. i take risks crossing myself, but i know when you can do it, and when you cant. this guy didnt realise the bus was right behind him as he went to run out on the road. he wouldnt have made it. if he goes about catching buses like that every day, it defies science and logic as to how he is still alive.

By dearbailee - 18/09/2012 14:04 - United States

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 932

You deserved it 4 115

What are friends for?

By Anastasya - 14/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I asked my best male friend to help repair my car because it broke down. He responded, “Why don’t you ask the lovely guy you’re dating instead, since obviously he’s better than me?” Apparently he’s still upset I didn’t reciprocate his romantic feelings and chose someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 002

Phantom of the bus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2023 00:02

Today, I have a facial scar from an accident, it's large but not disfiguring. A guy on the bus asked if I could turn away because it was scaring his kid (the kid wasn’t even paying attention) so I told him to screw off, but people started agreeing with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 104

Suspicious

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 15:02 - United States - Boise

Today, I pulled over because my cell phone was ringing, as it's now illegal to use in a car. I finished the call when a motorcycle cop on side of road pulls up behind me and comes over. The reason? "You pulled off the road and it was suspicious, then I ran your plate…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 374

By BOOP - 17/02/2012 13:25 - United States

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 7 732

Trashed

By rainey - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 2 642

Pull!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 11:01

Today, my tie-rod snapped, forcing me into a parked car. The wheel literally flew off my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 95

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 220

You deserved it 236

By Anonymous - 31/12/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 955

You deserved it 9 643

By ishouldhidethekeys - 04/11/2009 08:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 003

You deserved it 4 757

By FUCKKKS - 03/03/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 960

You deserved it 6 105

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 165

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Today, my mom cussed me out because I'm "the only one who didn't really care," I "didn't try hard enough" to find a hospital to accommodate my older sister's (and her beloved little baby's) condition. I tried over 20 hospitals, and those that had an MRI facility couldn't take her because of the mere fact that she wouldn't fit in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 82

Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 80

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 726

You deserved it 2 755

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 168

You deserved it 1 033

Today, I crashed my brother's car. All my friends know about this and not a single person has ask if I'm OK, even my dad and brother don't seem to be worried about me. Only my mother and I are sad because I don't know how to pay for a new car, the old one is in pieces. Thank god I'm alive but maybe dead would've been better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 397

Today, I’m getting so old that the local radio station that plays the “old classics” is playing songs I listened to in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 180