Family

Strewth!

By Relieved of child-creating obligations - 29/02/2024 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my niece will be born in about three months, and I just realized I'm more excited about my mom no longer being on my case about when I'm going to make her a grandma than I am about being an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 98

Trippin'

By oxymorons - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter, or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 020

You deserved it 3 251

Terms of service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 630

You deserved it 1 688

Sharing is caring

By julia - 25/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter used my towel. She thought that because it was clean, it would be okay. She’s 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 714

Steady decline

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 657

You deserved it 25 380

No kidding

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 377

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 16/02/2024 04:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 2 092

Time is precious

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 14/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, and over the past three months, I and four of my immediate family have been in hospital. Debilitating foot infection. Brain tumor. Urinary tract infection. Stroke. I just found out a few minutes ago my aunt just went in. I'm starting to think I'm going to be losing relatives any second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 83

Help wanted

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I fought with my sister. We're both adults, but I cussed her out and called her an idiot or something, and a bitch. I’m trying my best to get therapy for this shit. I have found nothing that helps me quit acting this way. I grew up with it in my parents' behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 420

TMI great-grannie!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 21:00

Today, at a big family wedding, my great nana shared quite loudly with us that most of the people in the pub wouldn’t exist if at 15 she hadn’t dumped her lying boyfriend, then made herself feel better by losing her virginity to an Italian waiter and accidentally becoming pregnant with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 134

How could you?

By Familysux - 04/02/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while on the way to my grandpa's funeral, my brother announced he's moving in with me. When I said no because he's a alcoholic drug addict, both him and my mum started screaming at me that I'm a horrible person and that I don't love them. It's been a hour. Only two more to go plus the return trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 76

Saved!

By No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 28/01/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend beat me and my whole family at Scrabble using only rude words. Seriously, he got a double word on BUTTOCK, a triple letter on the X in SEX then finally got a double word and 50 points for using all his letters by turning the word IS into CLITORIS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 628

Hammered

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother-in-law wanted a boxing match, which was the last thing I wanted since he’s a trained boxer. The last thing I expected was to knock him out cold on my first swing. My wife is now mad at me because he’s sulking, and I “could have held back to be a good sport.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 79

Tense dinner

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 150

Genetics

By lordoftheweird - 23/01/2024 13:00 - Canada

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 116

Kiss me

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 18:00 - United States - Wolfeboro

Today, my boyfriend refused to give me a kiss because he thinks I flirt with his cousin. I make small talk with him because my boyfriend is always leaving me alone with said cousin. I’m not attracted to him in the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 96

The struggle is real

By Alone - 15/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I've come to accept that while my family claims to be supportive of my disabilities, they become completely ableist whenever they're the source of the problem, or if my problems otherwise have a direct effect on them. I have no real friends in this world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 165

Uncanny valley

By bruv - 12/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my family for the first time. Everyone quickly pointed out how my girlfriend looks very much like my cousin. My girlfriend even agrees. That’s not what I was going off of when I first met her but now I’m having a hard time un-seeing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 97

Manipulation 101

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 09:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, my psycho sister came home. Why did she leave? To manipulate my parents to let her live here rent free. My mother built her a new bedroom, twice the size of my unit, so she can fuck my ex with privacy. She earns 4 times what I do, but doesn't have to pay rent. I own the house with mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 129

Bad taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my uncle was supposed to be the officiant at my wedding but he and my dad teamed up to make a joke about how this was actually my fiancé's funeral. Everyone laughed, except my fiancé. He burst into tears and ran from the altar. We can’t find him and he’s not answering his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 162

Get out

By Beauty - 07/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Queens

Today, in a heat of an argument, my boyfriend of almost 7 years of relationship said, "You are not part of my family, you do not pay my bills, so do not put your opinion here." All because I wanted to give my opinion on a new apartment that I'll be living in with him and his family after our wedding in few months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 172

Tense

By This complicates things - 06/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 96

My house, my rules

By lordoftheweird - 06/01/2024 06:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Spicy

Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 127

It's a holly, jolly Christmas

By KittyT - 06/01/2024 18:38 - Australia - Buderim

Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 218

KittyT tells us more.

KittyT 9

Friday 22 December 2023 7:46

the 2 friends are our other sister(was adopted when we were her and I were 12 and we had a falling out as teenagers and made up recently), and her ex best friend who was clear that he had no interest in her and never would... but my sister was delusional.that would change... then our other sister and her ex best friend met and started flirting and she attacked them for it.

It's sus to us

By Jenn - 30/12/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I caught my husband slapping my sister’s butt. When I confronted them, he defended himself saying he was just testing the “quality of the material of her new leggings.” Apparently, they’re “looking great.” He still doesn’t see what he did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 111

This is us

By Anonymous - 30/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my blind mother kept covering her ears any time I spoke to her and kept counting down every 20 minutes to the upcoming NFL game, which came on at 4pm. Finally dejected, my husband and I left after kickoff. She made my father call to guilt trip us about how she wanted us to stay for the game for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 97

Congratulations…?

By grandpa - 29/12/2023 20:00 - Argentina

Today, my 16 year-old daughter thought it would be a great idea to announce at our Christmas dinner that she’s expecting twins, and that she wants to keep them. She doesn’t know who the dad is. Merry Christmas to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 198

Christmas family fun

By KittyT - 25/12/2023 21:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, on Christmas Eve, I got dumped. Why? Because he couldn't live with my psychotic sister after she threatened to get him arrested if she punched him, because he's black. We still love each other and we're in tears having to separate until we can get a house in the housing crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 182

Miracles

By smyp - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Lithuania

Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 749

You deserved it 1 680

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Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 337

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 1 202

The Top

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 153

You deserved it 7 749

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 877

You deserved it 5 938

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 256

You deserved it 54 591

Today, one of my UNIVERSITY students submitted an incomplete assignment file to the online learning platform. I emailed him, "You will need to send me the correct file via email, as the system does not accept resubmissions." I literally got as a reply, "So, what do I need to do?" Online teaching is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 187

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 422

You deserved it 3 722

Today, I decided to fix my bike and take it for a test ride. Five minutes in, a bee flew into my eye and stung me. In pain, I thought it would be best to go home. I turned around to find a big pitbull running towards me. The dog chased me for a mile before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 3 535