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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9367) - you deserved it (31068)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19186) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (9424)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16595) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

#2053
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17406) - you deserved it (2048)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by maddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6073) - you deserved it (22621)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (2877)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

#1998
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (1661)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by theDiva - Malta

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5207) - you deserved it (39898)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday but I had to go to work. I catch the train and I am forced to sit next to this weird smelly dude who jumps off one stop before mine. A little old lady jumps on so I shuffle over so she can sit down with ease. Upon exiting the train i notice my pants are wet with smelly dude's piss. FML

#1978
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/21/2009 at 2:25am - work - by fr1day - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16795) - you deserved it (4678)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (1994)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Dr_Phil's comment : Am I the only who thinks watching the video of your birth with your entire family is kind of ... weird?

See all the comments →

Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML

#1959
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23691) - you deserved it (1924)

On 01/20/2009 at 8:08pm - health - by sore - Australia (Queensland)



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