Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king sized bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

by Fml24609 / 08/20/2010 at 2:20am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

by home owner / 08/20/2010 at 2:14am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

by Sam / 08/20/2010 at 1:34am / United States / Health

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

by notyoueallie / 08/20/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

by captainocd / 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

kbaker90's comment : Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*

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Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

by yup okay / 08/19/2010 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

by ktin / 08/19/2010 at 8:02am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2010 at 7:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

by FreeToFly3733 / 08/19/2010 at 7:25am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

by divorced / 08/19/2010 at 6:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Love