Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43607) - you deserved it (4998)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Indianboy9321's comment : In my experience, my best friend(s) are usually the ones that can joke slightly harshly with me without anyone taking offense, so I wouldn't take it to heart. Just be a nice, genuine person and you will have friends in no time!

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Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58467) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

StefanKa's comment : Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)

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Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

enddmd's comment : Show him some pregnancy tests?

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Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (5641)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49621) - you deserved it (8246)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56861) - you deserved it (13953)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (4352)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (7792)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after trying for several days to change some details on the social security website, I got fed up and called them. I waited nearly two hours on hold, and when I finally got through, the guy on the other end just told me to reboot my computer and try again, then hung up on me. FML

#21027789
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (3994)

On 01/14/2014 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (16724)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (44601)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



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