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Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (55063)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

sdroze1389's comment : I think he just mis interpreted your response for a subtle rejection. bummer though.

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Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41543) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49234) - you deserved it (4798)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

mmyoung979's comment : Jesus Christ, that's scary.

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Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49432) - you deserved it (9340)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)

alan2kai13's comment : You could've just turned the temperature down

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Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (4499)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (7377)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49398) - you deserved it (17605)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56107) - you deserved it (6906)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45316) - you deserved it (14155)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

#21019101
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43379) - you deserved it (8905)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by CatLady - United States (California)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43826) - you deserved it (4604)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49047) - you deserved it (20296)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50255) - you deserved it (6013)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -



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