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Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41054) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

CheeseTron's comment : All aboard the USS Intercourse.

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Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

#20933277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (10301)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:19am - misc - by karlajjjjj (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (19274)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Nyx's comment : A fight and a beer... that's some great male bonding right there.

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Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (4134)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Redoxx's comment : Wrongful termination suit?

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Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40695) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (18605)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (5549)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55275) - you deserved it (3688)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36462) - you deserved it (8680)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (25141)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

#20932303
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (5787)

On 10/24/2013 at 11:52am - work - by s13495 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)



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