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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52280) - you deserved it (5961)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

gjikvtj's comment : Tonight on Maury

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Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56404) - you deserved it (8050)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

kinky44's comment : You were topless, they were speechless.

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Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45888) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

NandaPanda's comment : Maybe you should file a work complaint against said coworker. That sounds a bit like stalking to me.

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Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (4940)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

#21175721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35196) - you deserved it (3582)

On 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (8421)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59925) - you deserved it (5701)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47559) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

#21175255
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44991) - you deserved it (5720)

On 06/15/2014 at 7:10am - love - by ToddlersWife - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

#21175131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (6214)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:31am - love - by mydatinglifesucks - United States

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40473) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47479) - you deserved it (23570)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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