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Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32279) - you deserved it (2480)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

#21293948
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35298) - you deserved it (17046)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

CamBen's comment : Dump him. He sounds really manipulative and untrustworthy.

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Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

#21293883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (3587)

On 11/07/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by all shat out - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Zebediabolical's comment : Run him over. And when his mom and the police ask you about it, answer 'VROOM VROOM MOTHAFUCKA!'

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Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Rinat's comment : Always. Remember. The towel. This almost happened to me once.

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Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (14398)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

#21293619
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42822) - you deserved it (7302)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (6480)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (33545)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)



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