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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (10551)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38531) - you deserved it (3831)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

parism143's comment : Don't you just love siblings? :')

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Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53098) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

XDsmileyDX's comment : Merry Christmas!

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Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (6313)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Queen_bee1234's comment : That's what you call blind love.

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Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (12382)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31550) - you deserved it (9196)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54086) - you deserved it (6482)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

#20994219
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (2774)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:47pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

#20994103
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33250) - you deserved it (4247)

On 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm - misc - by NotTalented - United States (Colorado)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)



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