Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58841) - you deserved it (2827)
On 05/12/2009 at 11:22am - love - by badboyfriend101 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (73723)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5839) - you deserved it (72856)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (5150)
On 05/12/2009 at 9:41am - misc - by Viridian - United States
Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49774) - you deserved it (3734)
On 05/12/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by freckle82 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46178) - you deserved it (5609)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (56069)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (9031)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68694) - you deserved it (9771)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (6739)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54280) - you deserved it (2593)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71420) - you deserved it (5515)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50883) - you deserved it (6410)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Friday 18 April 2014
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