Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8822) - you deserved it (46397)
On 09/03/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by sexyfreak2510 (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17478) - you deserved it (34884)
On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9450) - you deserved it (38674)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (8015)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49213) - you deserved it (12371)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (7236)
On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15720) - you deserved it (38956)
On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you deserved it (30822)
On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (17362)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39402) - you deserved it (3732)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44911) - you deserved it (6636)
On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a foreigner walked into my restaurant to pick up his pizzas. The bill was $25 and he gave me $30 and a 100 dollar bill. I gave him his change from the 30 and I didn't understand so I gave him back the 100 dollars. He said "Well if you dont want it, okay." He was gonna tip me $100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13061)
On 09/02/2009 at 2:29pm - money - by Lizzzyygurl (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (15978)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Thursday 22 January 2015
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