Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (9031)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68693) - you deserved it (9771)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (6739)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54280) - you deserved it (2593)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71413) - you deserved it (5514)
On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50882) - you deserved it (6410)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (2671)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no response I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (14882)
On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. 5 minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49743) - you deserved it (10030)
On 05/11/2009 at 7:14pm - money - by omgfmlhard (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40830) - you deserved it (2524)
On 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81773) - you deserved it (9611)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18134) - you deserved it (35748)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (26188)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)
Friday 18 April 2014
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