Today, I spent my remaining cash on a doctor's visit, only to find out that at the age of 22, I'm getting major health problems brought on by stress. I came home to relax, only to find out my roommate can't pay his rent, and needs me to cover for him so we don't get evicted. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 1:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 11:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML

by karmaplz / 02/23/2011 at 9:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Zmeilerr's comment : Why didn't you just tell them bad things?

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Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

loveyouall81's comment : noob

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Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

by ellie / 02/23/2011 at 2:10am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

by CarSick / 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Love

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

by Taylor / 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML

by Shropintz / 02/22/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Love

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous