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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68380) - you deserved it (3624)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

CryingHowls's comment : wow that's a pretty amazing love story well, minus the no show for the wedding that kinda love is rare nowadays

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Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

#4641799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14205) - you deserved it (64771)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56443) - you deserved it (4695)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

danielrp34's comment : Umm...Could you give me a piggy back ride too?

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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56844) - you deserved it (11358)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

#4632889
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8518) - you deserved it (64692)

On 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by Laundrylady (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112819) - you deserved it (8488)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (61680)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

#4627315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47720) - you deserved it (9390)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43490) - you deserved it (14290)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (11270)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (15555)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40270) - you deserved it (9029)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)



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