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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

#9021553
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (30247)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

#9023853
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (29876)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

#9021346
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (34287)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:39am - work - by jewel87 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

#9020245
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/12/2010 at 10:06am - love - by steakysteak (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (7027)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (2340)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (3685)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

#9017056
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (30787)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (3442)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

#9011499
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (12844)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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