Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19709) - you deserved it (40819)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you deserved it (52938)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

#4299160
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (4609)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by suspiciouspeople (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother found 100 bucks in his coat pocket. He was so happy he bought 2 new games for his x-box. He was borrowing my coat. FML

#4299043
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (7733)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (11752)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

#4297624
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46454) - you deserved it (2083)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - money - by familydisaster (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

#4294865
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57549) - you deserved it (2879)

On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned a valuable lesson, never leave your "Let It Be" album, which you paid $489 for on Ebay out on your desk. My brother also learned something, old records make for very breakable, one use frisbees. FML

#4293137
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (10357)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:37pm - money - by DiskJockey (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (3103)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

#4290695
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14683) - you deserved it (46695)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

#4290103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (7257)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:25pm - health - by toadface (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

#4288401
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49837) - you deserved it (6396)

On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm - misc - by bigryngf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sprinting to the bus stop trying to beat the bus. It pulled next to me and honked, startling me off the edge of the road. My foot slipped, I went tumbling, roadrashing my leg. The bus driver stopped, opened the door, and yelled "I was just letting you know this is a training bus." FML



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