Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
by rhartnett11 / 02/16/2011 at 7:56am / Miscellaneous
MrFancy's comment : I thought that was a pretty good idea. Sorry.
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML
by Tori / 02/16/2011 at 2:40am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML
by K / 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Ihavealisp / 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML
by nerdychick / 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Alexxcunningham's comment : that's straight creeper status.
Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML
by Nearis / 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
by bitchasaurusrex / 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
mikeydakid59's comment : FEED THE SHARK!
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
by AliRocks / 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals