Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7632) - you deserved it (57885)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27238) - you deserved it (12057)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61680) - you deserved it (13003)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

#13697546
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (8156)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

#13696419
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4557)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:00am - misc - by 6boss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (11526)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (2746)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML

#13693546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (3395)

On 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (9263)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

#13691597
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (15973)

On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

#13688887
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (5225)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:11pm - love - by secret - United States (Nebraska)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you deserved it (7478)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27178) - you deserved it (3581)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: