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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

#8771730
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/02/2010 at 11:58am - intimacy - by fatcheeks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (37866)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (7785)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after celebrating my birthday yesterday, getting really drunk, I woke up naked in the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Why did I wake up? Her father walked in. FML

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (3490)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (4019)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML

#8767827
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by Celeste - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (5113)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29345) - you deserved it (3741)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30934) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML

#8764219
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11176) - you deserved it (22102)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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