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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38653) - you deserved it (22742)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51286) - you deserved it (17839)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee's comment : Boyfriend Win, simply put.

See all the comments →

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

#11071289
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (60971)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

#11070143
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (6371)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by dancerr2210 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (5599)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (7132)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

#11047935
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40678) - you deserved it (2829)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by highschoolgrad (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (5734)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

#11036363
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36060) - you deserved it (6163)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (7106)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34662) - you deserved it (7666)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)



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