Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Kids
by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Olovio's comment : Bet you can't wait for sporks!
by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Vanguard507's comment : More like imagine how she feels. Just saying.
Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
by awkwardd / 05/19/2011 at 8:51am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
AlwaySunny's comment : you want a side of incest with that walk?
by stranded / 05/19/2011 at 7:46am / United States / Transportation
by ThisPerson / 05/19/2011 at 6:11am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…
- Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I…