Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

#10521391
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (4677)

On 05/14/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by superhero1043 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8933) - you deserved it (29535)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

#10520303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (2811)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by fothermuckerrr - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (31035)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

#10514863
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7068) - you deserved it (40374)

On 05/13/2010 at 9:11pm - misc - by BikerBuddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

#10512459
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you deserved it (43360)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (10108)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

#10509777
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (12217)

On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31335) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (24601)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (4340)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39155) - you deserved it (8292)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (7747)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: