Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

by brittbrat4 / 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Keyman1212's comment : Fuck them! Enjoy your life (:

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Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

by Ashleighx94 / 07/04/2011 at 8:00pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

by K3you / 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

by rejecteddd / 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Haha_oh_wait's comment : Maybe he got lost. Afterall he is blind.

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Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

by Kate / 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

by hero to zero / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Big_Red_138's comment : Well that's misfortunate...hopefully she lunged back at you in a blind fury and beat the shit out of her ex.

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Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML

by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous