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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (3158)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

#14071239
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by Trey Deluna - United States (Colorado)

Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML

#14070923
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50475) - you deserved it (11008)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35081) - you deserved it (9612)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (12766)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64895) - you deserved it (9475)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

#14067824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (2935)

On 12/03/2010 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

#14066862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/03/2010 at 12:18am - misc - by nokitchenforme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my annoying and disrespectful roommate discovered Pandora. She also discovered that she can play Christmas music on Pandora. Only 23 more days until Christmas. FML

#14065722
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

#14065426
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (29298)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, at work, one of my 6 year old students who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said "Your arms are hairy." FML

#14063291
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (4169)

On 12/02/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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