Calire9

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Toulouse, France
39 years-old
Thursday 03 September 1987
In a relationship

About Calire9

« Délaisse les grandes routes, prends les sentiers. » Pythagore

Calire9 - Followers

Calire9 - Followed

VDMbot

Calire9's page visits

Hugged!

Askmyname

reh

Lilianats

Calire9's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Invader

You were outside of France when you submitted this FML

Happy month-versary

You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?

My name is, my name is, my name is... Slim Shady?

You took your first steps inside the chatroom. Welcome!

Picture this FML

You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

42

See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

He who tries, wins.

See, one of you was right.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Going for gold

You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Multitasking

You found out about the FML Forum, and checked it out.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Censored

Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

I liked to the power of 20

You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Star of the Forum

With over 3000 messages posted on the forum, you certainly seem to be opiniated.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

What'ch'all looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The list of badges to find

Calire9's favorite FMLs

La revanche

By Anonyme - 28/05/2012 10:44 - Belgique - Brussels

Aujourd'hui, j'arrosais les plantes sur le balcon quand mon fils de cinq ans, à qui je venais d'interdire de manger des sucreries avant le repas, m'a enfermée dehors, est parti chercher un paquet de bonbon, s'est assis devant la porte-fenêtre, et l'a mangé entièrement sous mes yeux. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 68 331

You deserved it 12 939

By launcher - 29/05/2012 10:43 - France

Aujourd'hui, j'ai reçu mon bulletin et mon prof de français a mis comme commentaire : "Si l'ambiance du cours était un roman, tu serais l'élément perturbateur !" VDM

I agree, your life sucks 46 152

You deserved it 15 071

J'assume pas

By CestPasMoiCestLUI - 29/05/2012 21:59 - France

Aujourd'hui, un gars a réussi à boucher toute la canalisation de l'immeuble à cause de sa constipation et de ses nombreuses feuilles de papier toilette formant une boule. Ce gars a tellement honte de son acte qu'il écrit sa VDM à la troisième personne du singulier. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 73 145

You deserved it 10 664

By maria_sw6 - 30/05/2012 10:38 - France - Nice

Aujourd'hui, lors d'une visite médicale, le médecin me demande si j'ai bien fait faire mes tatouages selon les règles d'hygiène. Je lui réponds que je les ai faits moi-même avec un oursin et de l'encre. Ça ne l'a pas fait rire, il m'a collé une liste de vaccins à faire. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 48 823

You deserved it 22 425

By FauteuilEver Alone - 03/06/2012 22:28 - France - Illange

Aujourd'hui, ma femme, enceinte de quatre mois, s'est mise à pleurer en pensant au fauteuil du salon sur lequel on ne s'assoit jamais. D'après elle, on l'empêche de vivre sa destinée de fauteuil. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 69

By Catherineqc87 - 06/06/2012 00:09 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Aujourd'hui, je suis une Québécoise en vacances en France. Le contrôleur du train me dit de composter mon billet. Je le remercie de l'information, félicite la France d'être aussi écolo et lui dis que non, je n'oublierai pas de jeter mon billet dans les ordures organiques en sortant du train. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 63 439

You deserved it 6 990

Salut toi !

By TortueNinja - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Toulouse

Aujourd'hui, je crois qu'il est temps que nous reconsidérions sérieusement nos habitudes alimentaires. Le livreur de pizzas est rentré sans sonner et a adressé ses salutations à notre berger allemand en l'appelant par son prénom. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 66 416

You deserved it 12 944

Plein les yeux

By Naria - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Toulouse

Aujourd'hui, grâce à mon plombier, j'ai compris pourquoi Mario, lui, portait une salopette. C'est pour qu'on ne voie pas la raie de ses fesses quand il se penche. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 58 858

You deserved it 4 594

By max2567 - 28/06/2012 15:14 - France - Malakoff

Aujourd'hui, dans le bus, une bonne amie s'assied juste devant moi sans me voir. Voulant la taquiner un petit peu, je prends une voix de psychopathe et lui glisse à l'oreille : "Je suis nu sous mon manteau." Ce n'était pas elle. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 88 730

You deserved it 24 395

By Digou - 04/07/2012 16:29 - France - Franconville

Aujourd'hui, en pleine nuit, mon copain m'a attrapée par les épaules et a chuchoté : "Ne bouge pas. Sa vision est basée sur le mouvement." Je lui demande ce que c'est. "Je crois que c'est un coussin", a-t-il dit avant de se rendormir. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 55 572

You deserved it 3 718

Digou tells us more.

Digou 15

Thursday 5 July 2012 16:29

Je suis l'auteure de la VDM ! En effet, comme beaucoup d'entre vous l'ont remarqué, mon copain est bien fan de Jurassick Parc ! Et il parlait réellement d'un coussin/oreiller. Il parle très souvent dans son sommeil, et je trouve cela très amusant. Il ne s'en souvient généralement pas au réveil, mais ce sont des bonnes séances de fous rires pendant le petit déj' !