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H8TR - 26/08/2010 13:32 - United States

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

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PeeLeg - 11/03/2013 07:43

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

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Which one are you?

Anonymous - 19/02/2013 00:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

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great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

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nickw177 - 22/10/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

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