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The all-time greatest FMLs

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 58

Open to interpretation

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 06:11 - Belgium

Today, I found out why my ex of three years started an argument with me that quickly lead to our break-up. He said he would be talking to people of a different race to make life "easier." I should've seen the fact that he dislikes our own race from prior conversations. He ended up getting into a relationship two months later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 332

nm1545 tells us more.

nm1545 9

Thursday 12 September 2024 13:27

Op here – For some context: we’re both black. During the relationship he would mention how he didn’t like when black women would do certain things or just talk down on things I did and say “This is why you shouldn’t date black women/should date this instead.” When meeting right before our breakup he mentioned that he would probably be dating a Hispanic or white woman next because it would be easier. I don’t care what race he dates, do you! I just don’t respect him saying he thinks certain demographics are less aggressive when there’s all types of personalities in any race. I say this because when we first got together he told me his ex wasn’t black and ended up stabbing him. As far as the breakup - I believe he was talking to her before we broke up. They got together quickly after we called it quits and it surprised me.

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 39

Congrats

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my bosses pulled me aside and said to me they appreciated me for being such a hard worker, and told me they had something for me. They gave me a one year pin. Today was my 3 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 74

How did it go?

By Jill04 - 11/10/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 77

Tech expert anyone?

By I am puzzled - 13/07/2023 03:00 - Ukraine - Vinnytsia

Today, my laptop has its own likes and dislikes. The cooler keeps spinning crazily, causing loud annoying noise when I use the laptop at my parent's house, and functions perfectly silent at my place. Careful inspection proved full working order. What's going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 127

Stop bringing it up!

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 00:00 - India

Today, I've recently been promoted to a VP at a bank. Despite this, in my parents' eyes, I will always be that idiot two year-old who refused to put his pants on at the cinema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 123

How can I resist you?

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 08:30 - United States - Carson City

Today, my cat has a new ritual: As soon as he sees a human, he meows for a good ten minutes straight. Pettings, brushes, and toys have yet to get him to stop. His new favorite time to do it is 5 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 135

Lovely, just lovely

By subhuman inbred - 08/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a “subhuman inbred.” All because I was fidgeting during church without realizing I was doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 131

Weirdest gang ever

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was stopped from jogging by a group of joggers who said they’re a paid membership group from a HOA so I can’t run near them unless I’m also a member. When I rightfully told them to tongue kiss my asshole, they joined hands across the street and the road to stop me from running past them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 65

In these times

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after my ex left me to be number 5 or 6 to some dude, she’s now going to jail for whatever bullshit they got her into. She calls them family, and she expects me to still take my kids to visit those creepy ass polyamorous freaks she’s had them living around. No fucking way! FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 126

Snooping around

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 20:00

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 103

Cancel culture

By Anonymous - 18/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 121

Home sweet home, or not

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I returned from my holiday in Cairo and was planning to go straight to bed, seeing as I had landed at 2 a.m. All was going well, until I tried to open my front door and realised that I'd left my keys, my S23+ phone, and my wallet in the cab I took home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 227

Not the sharpest tool

By full'a'shit - 06/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, after days of constipation, I gave myself an enema to clear out the obstruction. My girlfriend has decided that I'm secretly gay and will not change her mind. She's already told her friends, who now want to take me shoe shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 104

In the mood for love

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 16:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 202

Insurance scam

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that they're suing my best friend's parents because I broke my leg at their house. I've been begging and pleading and fighting with them not to but they won't listen. They keep saying that it's not personal and it's just a legal thing. Happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 71

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 98

Been there, can't do that

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, I feel like I made the worst choice of my life and I have to pay the consequences, and I seriously feel like shit. I need help. Moving abroad to study at 30 was the worst mistake and I hate my life here. I want to go back but I lost everything back home and I don't have anything here. I'm stuck; I just want to be happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 232

There's always that one dude

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, it was my second day at my new job. The bathrooms have urinals, and I usually get bladder shy while using them, but I thought, "When in Rome…" That's when my manager came in, stood at the urinal next to mine, dropped his pants and boxers around his ankles, and started talking about sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 155

That's no excuse

By Conflicted - 27/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my boss's ADHD son was suspended from school. It was a misunderstanding, but the school won't listen, so now my boss has to take him to work. She gets very short-tempered when he's around because, quite frankly, he's extremely annoying and disruptive, even for a kid with ADHD. It's gonna be a long week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 123

Commited

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 96

Thanks Sweaty

By sadrainindeed - 16/11/2023 04:00 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was feeling really down and my boyfriend refused to be there for me. It’s funny because a couple of months ago he was going through the same thing and I did everything I could to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 134

Trapped

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized I'm in a horribly toxic marriage. My wife offered to let me sleep in, and my first thought was, "This is a trap, in thirty minutes she'll be yelling at me for being lazy." I tested it. Yup, it was a trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 78

Rough deal

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I constantly hear single moms being bashed trashed and judged no matter their situation. I just got dumped again for being one. No one seems to know or care that I’m a single mom, because my daughter’s conception wasn’t what you’d call consensual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 107

So romantic…

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 06:00

Today, my proposal was slightly ruined when the ring I got her, which I could have sworn was the same size as other rings she owns, was a whole 3 sizes too big. She agreed to marry me but is now sulking because she thinks I think she’s fat and needs a big ring for her fat fingers. Give me a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 185

Sorry for your loss

By TooReal - 25/04/2025 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 101

Bullies never grow out of it

By Daveryan - 28/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury

Today, I had a fight with my sister. Back when I was a chubby teen, I was made to wear a woman's panty girdle and hated it. She used to taunt me with slogans like, "Is your girdle killing you?", "Can you believe it's a girdle?" etc. Today she yelled, "Don't bust your girdle!" It's been years and the bitch still won't let up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 109

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 118

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The Top

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 205

You deserved it 4 123

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 461

You deserved it 2 713

Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 050

You deserved it 25 571

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 520

You deserved it 311

Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 241

Today, I laughed at a joke in a group chat. No one else reacted. After five minutes, I realized I’d replied to a message from last week. I had to also pretend I hadn't noticed and sat in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 178