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Meltdown

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 00:00

Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 77

Zealous new convert

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter told me that now that she's a Christian, I can no longer see my grandchildren unless I repent from my "homosexual lifestyle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 157

Passport bro

By ThaidUp - 31/03/2026 00:00

Today, I realized being a passport bro cost me my life’s savings and $40k credit card debt. I married a beautiful petite Thai girl molded out of my dreams, only for her to tell me six years later that she’s leaving me for her husband in Thailand. She’s a US Citizen now (thanks to me), and is now gonna sponsor him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 770

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 150

Pancake day

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 15:00

Today, I burnt my finger making pancakes for my kid. After hopping around and running the blister under cold water, I went back to finish making the pancakes and burned the same finger right on top of the new blister. An hour later it burst and the flesh is a funny colour underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 123

It's all in the game

By and then drunk dialed me - 05/04/2026 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, after seven months of my supporting him, including paying all the bills, cleaning the house, and cooking, my unemployed "aspiring rapper" boyfriend finally got paid for his music. Did he buy me something nice? No, he called his boys to hit the club and pissed away everything he'd earned and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 307

A simple life

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my wife it hurt my feelings when she said our wild, fun days are behind us. She retorted, “Yeah you’re right. Our very carefully planned out once a year kid-free outing is sooooo wild and crazy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 410

Retail work hell

By Sheila2004 - 19/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 98

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 67

Bad grandma

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 128

Snitches get stiches

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my so-called son told me that I'm never going to see my grandchildren again because I caught him cheating on his wife (in MY home and in MY bed!) and ratted him out to her so now they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 94

Homeowners war

By xXCharlieXx - 03/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my neighborhood Facebook group was arguing about whether leaf blowers should be banned. Thinking I was posting in a private chat, I wrote, “Imagine making leaf blowers your entire personality.” I accidentally posted it publicly. Two neighbors haven't spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 377

Weirdest gang ever

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was stopped from jogging by a group of joggers who said they’re a paid membership group from a HOA so I can’t run near them unless I’m also a member. When I rightfully told them to tongue kiss my asshole, they joined hands across the street and the road to stop me from running past them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 65

Donut scandal

By Not a Kevin here - 10/06/2026 15:00 - Philippines

Today, in the doughnut shop I usually go to, I bought 3 dozen to take home. A new clerk rang me up and, with an attitude, said the store is cashless only now. Despite me showing cash to pay with like I always do, I was judged by other customers as if I was a deadbeat. She then threw a fit for cancelling and returning the items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 90

Cyrano

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends fancy each other and keep secretly asking me to write their sext messages. I'm essentially carrying on both sides of their sexy talk with myself, only I won’t be the one getting laid. Sometimes wish I was lesbian too, arranging a threesome between us would be easier than this FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 268

Culinary experience

By Jenny - 17/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I looked at the menu and yelled, "Who puts caramel on onions? EW!" I then learned that "caramelized onion" is not caramel covered onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 744

I can fix him

By John - 26/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 88

Cooked

By Anonymous - 23/07/2026 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my partner came home late so I preheated the oven for dinner. My partner got home an hour later, and we put things in the oven. We then go to cook the potatoes on our induction stove. Oh, the stove is off, the breaker must have tripped today. Oh, the oven is on the same fuse. Oh, the food is still frozen. It's 10pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 174

Leaked

By ym - 26/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 93

HR sucks

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 22:00 - United States - Akron

Today, HR informed me that they would not be investigating my formal complaint against my boss. This after four months of relentless bullying, including calling me while I was on vacation to tell me to do work, and eliminating my position when she found out I had gone to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 77

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 15:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 396

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 73

Those were some hefty dogs

By NeedsANewPhone - 23/09/2025 03:00

Today, after getting my phone fixed last week because my daughter dropped it and it landed on a corner, I dropped it again at the dog park and several big dogs fighting with my dog stepped on it. One of them cracked the screen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 155

Noise annoys

By AAAAAGH - 03/10/2025 20:00

Today, like every day, I have misophonia. Also today, like every day, my mom is on a video call with my baby niece and is making irritating sound effects to entertain her. I hate the fact that my mom making her granddaughter happy makes me irrationally furious. I'm such a piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 131

Favorite

By ImmaLoser - 05/10/2025 15:00

Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 126

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 121

Here you go

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 141

Frisky

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 09:00

Today, my mum and dad decided that now I’m 18 they’re not gonna sneak around in their own house anymore. So now, when they’re in the mood, they just run past me giggling, hands all over each other, upstairs, and I can hear them up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 193

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 149

DIY

By Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 327

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The Top

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 288

You deserved it 2 625

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 882

You deserved it 61 813

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 11 512

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 225

You deserved it 3 716

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 542

You deserved it 3 424

Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 138