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Quite the eyeful

By Wtf is wrong with my body - 30/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that, while not exactly probable, you can get pimples on your eyes that are only visible when you close said eye. I get them in all sorts of weird and uncomfortable places, but this takes the cake. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 72

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 351

How's the project going?

By Lewis - 11/12/2018 18:00

Fine... I guess?

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 102

Hobby lobby

By I can't think of a name - 14/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my parents complained to me that I never talk to them about my hobbies and interests, or what I do in general. Well, maybe if you at least pretended to show any sort of interest when I do, instead of just replying dismissively to everything I say until I leave, I might talk about them more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 109

My friends' reaction when I see my ex

By Lewis - 13/12/2018 17:58 - France - Paris

Let it go!

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 68

Who is this and what do you want?

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, out of nowhere, several spam calls started calling my cellphone number. Every single one of them about health insurance. I didn't know why they were calling me or how they got my number. After a bit of questioning, it turns out my dumb dad used my name and cellphone number while trying to look for info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 73

Getting through life like:

By Lewis - 16/12/2018 18:30 - France - Paris

Life is a race... With hurdles... while wearing flippers

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 71

Once you pop…

By P…… - 20/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 97

Overfamiliar

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 73

Toxic cloud

By sick of this - 22/02/2022 06:01

Today, like every other day, if you are sick before or during work, you immediately get sent to get COVID tested. I don’t think my sickening pregnancy hormones need COVID testing, just fresh air away from my coworker who has sulfur running through his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 142

Par for the course

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I carried my golf bag from the club house to my car. When I got there, my rear pocket got caught in a zipper on the bag. I couldn't get them separated. I had to take my pants off to fix it. Yes, three couples walked by, pretending not to notice. Had it not happened to me, I would not believe this story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 113

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 00:00 - Australia

Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 87

Trash day

By AlfieBoyo - 06/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 144

Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 111

Motherly love

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my mom texted me, “I just want you to know I love you very much.” Touched, I replied, “I love you too, Mom!” Her next message said, “Oops, wrong person.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 64

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 19/06/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, an actual doctor told me I’ve been “passed around like a bong at a party”, referring to how many doctors have treated my MS condition. Worse yet, I responded with, “Don’t worry, I’m used to it”, without realising how that would sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 132

MY CHEESE!

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Tuckerton

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 89

Always prepared

By Johnny Scizz - 20/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Bothell

Today, I went to test start my generator because there is a big wind storm coming in (a bomb cyclone according to the news). As I was pull-starting the generator, the rope broke. OK. Went to Home Depot to get a new rope and installed it. I broke the spring assembly installing the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 84

Toasted

By Nathan - 26/11/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 157

It's teamwork

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I'm home, taking care of my kids and keeping the house in order, so that my working wife is able to relax but she doesn't appreciate me at all and hates that I'm not like her best friend's wealthy husband, even though I do my best, and really wish I could be the breadwinner in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 110

Handle with care

By Bad day to be my toes - 08/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 194

Desperate times, desperate measures

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I hit a low point when I changed the AI Snapchat bot's Bitmoji to look identical to my ex-girlfriend's Bitmoji and have a conversation with it just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 513

Main character syndrome

By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad is in the hospital for heart failure. Almost every single one of my aunts, uncles, and cousins have managed to find a way to make it about themselves for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 103

Menace to society

By Uri - 20/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 119

Where am I?

By Doordashed - 28/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a notification that my food had been delivered. I opened my front door and found nothing. After ten minutes of panic, I checked the delivery photo. It was of my old apartment. I moved out eight months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 381

Free money

By Nick - 09/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found $20 in an old jacket and celebrated by buying myself a fancy lunch (well, Burger King, but that just goes to show how well I'm doing in this economy). When I got home, I realized I'd left my wallet at the restaurant while paying with the $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 169

That dang Ozempic

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 03:00 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 93

Classic

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 540

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 108

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was trying pillow talk with this guy I met at the bar that night. I’m thinking he’s going to say something cute, but he told me, "One time, I was bored, so I went to a liquor store and robbed an Asian man and put his bag over his head." I just wanted to pillow talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 123

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The Top

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 897

You deserved it 1 705

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 749

You deserved it 10 906

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 413

You deserved it 53 001

Today, in the attempt to have a relaxing self-care evening, I ran a bath, threw in some bath salts then put a face mask on and hopped on in. After about 7 minutes of relaxing, my back started burning, so I got out only to discover the bath salts have given me a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 116

Today, our Scout troop was scheduled to do the Cycling Merit Badge. Midway through, it began to rain so hard that I couldn't see the road, and ended up in a ditch. Rather than make sure I was okay, as I was covered in mud and blood, my dad the Scoutmaster decided to scream at me for holding everyone else up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 107

Today, three minutes into on our Christmas Family Reunion, I got kicked out and now probably permanently. What did I do? My aunt, who NEVER FAILS to do this, did loudly the, "Wow! You've gotten fat!" greeting on me, whereas I responded with an even louder, "And WOW! You've gotten even uglier!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 114