Today, I'm now jobless and girlfriend-less. The cat got out of the bag that I impregnated my co-worker, who I’ve been secretly dating. What caused this? I didn’t have enough hush money to pay my other co-worker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, my financial situation is so bad that I had to surrender my beloved calico cat because I can’t take care of her. On top of that, my ex-wife found out and crucified me over it. I’ve been fucked up about it all day, and everything reminds me of my cat. Sorry, baby girl. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to leave me because she wasn't happy. Little did I know, she's been fucking her coworker for the past month or so. FML
Today, I learned of my girlfriend’s affair with her coworker. And by coworker, I mean my long-time friend, who we helped get a job at her work in the first place. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because he was "furloughed from COVID" like he said was. Oh, and he got her pregnant. FML
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
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Top comments
who.me 5
Actually what caused it, is your cheating.
whatshername?! 39
I have a totally different answer to your question 'what caused this'.
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Comments (11)
who.me 5
Actually what caused it, is your cheating.
whatshername?! 39
I have a totally different answer to your question 'what caused this'.
Jesse Duff 15
" I'm an a**hole who couldn't keep it in my pants and everyone knows now" why do these people even come on here.
ODBeefalo 10
and they either A: don't see what they did wrong or B: see their misery as someone else's fault for making their own shittiness known.
Hangryko 32
Did you really expect sympathy? Fool. YDI
RichardPencil 32
Well, you'd better get another job to pay the child support and the alimony. Get used to working your ass off just to eat ramen noodles in your squalid rented room. Your first mistake was paying hush money. A certain celebrity paid $130,000 in hush money to cover up an affair and we all found out about it anyways. It doesn't work.
JasonThorn 23
Gotta agree with ya this time. OP literally screwed around and not only found out, but GOT found out. This is what you risk when you dip your pen in the company ink.
Ubehage 32
Imagine what you could've done with all the hush-money. YDI. Cheating a**hole.
Nazmazh 18
"What caused this?" My dude... It was you cheating on your girlfriend with your coworker that caused this. The chain of events that led to you losing your job and girlfriend categorically would not have started if you'd simply not done that.
dreams2383 20
your scum! your a cheater low life! I hope you like paying child support for 18 years. you got what you deserved.
wheresmydarts 1
was it worth it?
pjon216 1
sounds like a country song , did you lose your dog too?