Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML
Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML
Today, while interviewing for a job, I was greeted by the interviewer with a handshake and a greeting of, "Hello Victoria, my name is Bill." I responded with, "Hello. My name is Bill." I think it's safe to assume I didn't get the job. FML
Today, I went on a lunch date with a guy I used to work with. When the conversation got dry, I asked him if he went by “Chris” or “Christopher” these days. His name is Daniel. My brain knew my mistake as I said it. Just when I thought the silence couldn’t get more awkward. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, I went up and spoke to someone at my local grocery store because I thought he was my neighbor. We chatted for nearly two minutes before he politely said, "I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea who you are." I still had to finish shopping in the same aisle. FML
Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML
Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML
Today, I had lunch with a coworker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and, looking legitimately confused, said, "You know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML
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Top comments
jennaboo84 0
Sigh. Easy solution. "Oh why hello! How are you? This is my wife ______" She says hello, goes to shake his hand and he will automatically introduce himself. VERY rarely will this not work.
spillproof 0
Do you work so far down the food chain that you never met the leaders?
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Comments (107)
kk3211 0
at least you didn't say, "**** off, douche-bag, I'm trying to have a conversation."
kk3211 0
nice find #45. and #64, get a real job.
Darthbane2007 19
" Today, I was on my way to give one of my best employees whose name was bill a promotion. I asked him how he was doing, but he didn't remember my name, despite him working for me for 12 years. FML."
cazzy_33 0
cant you just say "hey mate im good thanks.." no name needed
JiggstheMan 0
Just remember this.. you were soooo close to that promotion. But you blew it.
VoGuE221 5
Don't ever say that to someone you don't know! YDI for not faking it until you figured out who he was.
Nandian90 0
Just say " Hey! I'm doing good and you?" I do that all the time.
aquarius6 0
Duh. Don't u know to pretend u know everyone who randomly approaches u??
arcturusvi 0
#72 What exactly is a "real" job? White collar? Paper pushing? Maybe work for a big conglomerate with nice cubicles all around, and umpteen bosses? Bosses like chairman of the board? Care to tell me what all your higher ups do, besides make more money off your work? Do you know all their names? I know. I could be a soulless and spineless manager. I'm sure that qualifies as "real". Perhaps a higher manager, with the inability to think for myself or logically? Just rules, rules, professional, rules. So what is this real job, and why do I need it?
saf_raman 0
Don't sweat it. Just do what I do. Head for the nearest men's restroom and find a gloryhole. Blow off some steam.