Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I was on a work call when my coworker made an accidental Freudian slip. Thinking I was muted, I muttered, "That’s what she said." I wasn’t muted. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, I tried to "quiet quit" a Zoom meeting by muting myself and turning off my camera. Halfway through, I unmuted by mistake and blurted out, "I think they just like hearing themselves talk." Now, every time my boss says something, everyone looks at me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML
Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML
Today, at work I put myself squarely in the lame / old people category when I foolishly asked out loud what FML meant. FML
Today, in my online class, I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine… except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Is that by Skrillex? So, you do an embarrassing thing in the present to erase embarrassing things from your past? Looks like you've set up an infinite loop.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Dafuq? I'm sorry, just try and train yourself to forget those embarrassments and do it in private. In your house, or your room. Good luck OP!
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Comments (251)
twisted_cherub 14
How does "humdidumdum erm lalala" erase your memory?
perdix 31
I forget.
p3mguin 7
Hahaaa, wait what were we talking about.
iamBrody 1
I kind of do the same thing. IDK. It helps clear your head. I do it as a bridge to better memories/thoughts. I thought I was the only one, lol!
MayaTheBee_fml 10
#11, I came here to see if anyone knew, but apparently not :( Anyway, this is a form of OCD, where you undergo certain actions, "rituals", to block the thought. Hope OP can find how to "fix" it :)
mexicoman101 6
Tunak tunak tun...
paschale 7
No probs just say its an exotic language like Tahitian or something. Instant sexy
perdix 31
I guess when you get bored, a cavity search sounds like fun :)
kimmi41509 10
Sounds like a mild case of Tourettes to me.
perdix 31
I thought that at first, but then he said he had a purpose to say his little mantra. The outbursts from people with Tourette's are involuntary. My diagnosis is "batshit crazy."
kimmi41509 10
Either way, there's definitely something different about his brain. Lol
geko911 22
Or his brain could be totally healthy but his education a little more unorthodox.
porcupineattack1 5
Its a deadly cycle, i see.
ycrem0n 21
I'd rather say Hakuna Matata, to forget worries and embarrassing things.
kthxbie 10
Haha, i'll be doing that from now on :)
MyBedRoomIsTidy 2
Wow, that's horrible. How embarrassing... You need to do something about that.
auzz1_pride 9
No shit Sherlock.
VeganVampyre 27
Hey, I know her! She's Jack's ex wife. :P
MrSassypants 34
Just say it again and you'll forget that this has happened to you and if it happens again say it again, and again, and again, and again..............
perdix 31
Is that a shiver of excitement?