Today, I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I must be pretty old, right? Wrong. I’m 28. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML
Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML
Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML
Today, if you asked me how old I felt, I’d say in my late eighties, with beginning dementia and some sort of terminal disease. Unfortunately, I’m only 41 and my doctor claims there is nothing wrong with me whatsoever. FML
Today, I found out that my hearing is average for a 60-year-old. I'm 30. FML
Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML
Today, despite being 22 and having near-perfect dental hygiene, I was diagnosed with receding gums and can only eat soft food for the rest of my life. Then the dentist told me that this typically only happens to people over fifty who don’t take care of their teeth. FML
Today, I found out that the stiffness I've been feeling in my hand is arthritis and that it's only going to get worse. Not only do I type for my job, I'm also 22. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with gout. I’m 19. FML
Today, based on recent x-rays, I have the right knee of a 60-year-old, the left knee of a 70-year-old, and the right hip joint of a 100-year-old who's been dead for 15 years. I'm only 19 years old and my doctor says I'm gonna need two walking sticks by the time I'm 25. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?
Jesse Duff 15
i wound up with dentures at around 27, genetics are a crapshoot sometimes. It's a bit rough at first, but you'll be ok.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?
HayNow 11
RA is not an old people ailment and neither is wearing bi-focals..... I don't know what to tell you about the dentures.
Jesse Duff 15
i wound up with dentures at around 27, genetics are a crapshoot sometimes. It's a bit rough at first, but you'll be ok.
Suaria 38
I'm not sure about the other stuff but I was a kid that had bifocals. That isn't necessarily an old person thing