Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
jayennachristine 23
Quit banging the dryer and ban him
djcity 11
Hey who put that there....
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Comments (68)
djcity 11
Hey who put that there....
Swandive235 27
I did
nutella4life 14
you ruined it
Zwerik 31
I'm sure he appreciated the effort. :)
GreyJedi 10
That's not the way to bang your head. Don't worry, he'll show you.
brycemash 9
This doesnt make sense at all.
AnalAssassin1 14
This sounds violent...
tonedef456 8
You know it's violent when someone named the analassassin thinks it is.
jayennachristine 23
Quit banging the dryer and ban him
Murilirum 23
My golden line.... And you got there first -_-
assurant 12
don't lie we've all done that some point in our lives
Corey122726 17
I don't know about you, but I've never tried to be sexy for any man in my life time. Nor would I have ever stuck my ass out for another man who is trying to discreetly look at it. So no sir, we have not all been there or done that in our lives.
pjsr 33
What's wrong with trying to be sexy for someone you're in a relationship with? Or looking at the ass of someone you're in a relationship with? Try being a little playful #13, your significant other might actually like it.
boating_guy 33
13 is just making a play on words cause he's a dude and would like to emphasize his masculinity by making it clear he is straight as an arrow. If he was a woman, that would be a different story...and it would be supremely shitty to be her SO
IDerive 12
I like how in your profile you state that you hate when people give advice on FML and then you give advice on FML... You keep cantankerous old goats like me confused
IDerive 12
Had you used the term "ass" instead of "horse", you would have got thumbed up, because everybody relates to asses in at least 3 ways.
pjsr 33
Maybe I should have clarified, 'giving advice to the OP'. In this case, that would be saying something like, 'just pretend you meant to do it and continue your laundry', as if the OP is bent over waiting for someone to tell her what to do.
sandraw1 22
Well, at least you tried! Good for you, OP
jtsmommy 11
This has happened to me
Badkarma4u 17
YDI for trying to be sexy. Women are sexiest when they don't try.
myanichole 22
Do you even understand what you just said?
labowski1976 5
Do u have an ass worth looking at
Smilez97 5
Next time just hop up on the washer or dryer
Steve95401 49
Especially when the washer is in "Spin" cycle.
mds9986 24
Put a few rocks in it too.