Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, as a teaching assistant, I somehow uploaded my personal notes instead of the lecture slides. My “notes” included reminders like “slow down, idiot”, “this makes no sense”, and “students will hate this part.” Several students emailed me saying they appreciated the honesty. I would've appreciated the ground opening and swallowing me whole. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML
Today, my 5-year-old told me that she'd learnt about gravity, then asked, “So when you fall down, is it because the Earth punched you?” I said yes, along with a giggle. Later at the supermarket, she tripped and screamed, “THE EARTH HIT ME AGAIN!” I was then reminded of high school when it felt like everyone was staring at me. FML
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Top comments
Bloink 25
That sucks but I've got to admit it's kind of funny
Welshite 40
Humor in a lesson is essential. Some of my best classes involved my professors cracking jokes.
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Comments (155)
Sweetpea22 14
I would have laughed, then went back to listening to the lecture
Dodge4x4Ram 46
your name
JRFaceless 8
Lucky you have at least one comedian in there, or you could be stuck teaching the class from Ferris Buellers Day Off
Welshite 40
Anyone? Anyone?
happyevil 10
Well OP is screwed if they had Ferris Bueller as a student... Just look what happened to the principle... And the Ferrari...
tranced_ 45
there's no hope for humanity..
SaxophoneHero 12
I bet you're fun at parties. "Hey man, we are out of chips," "THERE IS NO HOPE FOR HUMANITY!!!"
RedPillSucks 33
Well... If it was really good chips.
rebellionwars 11
Buzz killington.
xxrogerthatxx 19
What does him being African-American has to do with it?
gracehi 33
In the United States, "African American" is the term uber politically correct people came up with for Black people, even though "black" is a perfectly acceptable and polite term in the rest of the world, and "African American" has more syllables and isn't even always accurate, such as when a black person is from Jamaica, or when a white African emigrates to the US. I've even heard Americans use the term "African American" when talking about black people in France, and I had to point out to them that there was nothing American about those people.
xxrogerthatxx 19
I understood the black part, didn't know that I was suppose to imagine a hole.
Sweetpea22 14
Seriously? You didn't get the post? please go back to school so you can learn how to read and use your brain correctly.
xxrogerthatxx 19
Well got damn you guys are cut-throat on here. Shit, excuse me or having a question and asking the shit. I normally get the other ones first try, all that other shit you said wasn't necessary. Should've jut explained the fml to me.
SuperMew 22
Or you could have used logic or looked it up online. No one has to explain anything to you. And yes it is kind of stupid not to get what a black man means by clenching his black hole. Welcome to the internet.
RedPillSucks 33
Well, this is an international site, so its quite possible that American colloquialisms might not be well understood.
xxrogerthatxx 19
Nahh, I must admit I'm American. I guess I should admit that I'm black too.
Sweetpea22 14
I am American and I understood this.
Sweetpea22 14
Showed this to my friend in Germany, and she understood what the student said. Only a dumbass wouldn't understand the kid was talking about his ass
DocBastard 40
Ok, I'm sure he gets the point now. I'm all for ridiculing people who deserve it, but once the point is made, anything more is just overkill. Let it go and move on, folks. I'm sure there are other people who need it.
Zimmington 21
I'm Black & American but I hate being called "African American" because I'm not from Africa. I was born here so I should just be American like everyone else.
gracehi 33
I honestly thought that he might be from a country other than America, and therefore wasn't familiar with the term "African American," hence my explanation.
SuperMew 22
I hate when I call someone black and people get offended. Like I called them the "n-word" or something horrid. I have friends who call themselves "black" and ask that others do the same. I am referred to as white and do not get offended. So I am not sure why it is only with black people that you have to say "African" instead of just American.
Zimmington 21
101- it depends because maybe they're from Africa or they know their ancestors are. Some older black people prefer African American. Maybe they just don't like you or they're racially over sensitive. But like I said before I think "African-American" should be reserved for people actually born in Africa
Zimmington 21
Also they could deject from the term "Black" because we're not Black we're Brown
SuperMew 22
Reminds me of my friend's little brother who started a club called "Little Brown Children Club" for people who were anything from Mexican to Black. Was pretty funny, he took the club seriously. But, the people who complained to me were originally from Jamaica and Haiti. When I asked what they wanted to be called, because they complained about "African American" they got attitude and said "you should know." When I asked them how I would know and how I was being racist asking them what they wished to be called, they said "all white people are ignorant." So it kind of confused and pissed me off.
Zimmington 21
Actually you should know what they should be called if they told you their country of origin. People from Jamaica are Jamaican. People from Haiti are Haitian. They have the right to be upset with you about that because it is kind of ignorant.
SuperMew 22
Actually, they did not tell me their race until after ten minutes of them yelling at me. I don't like to argue with people, my parents were verbally abusive to each other when I was a kid, so screaming and yelling puts me on edge. I always try to be calm and level because I never got that as a kid. I ask people what they wish to be called and when these people did not tell me where they were from, and only said they detested being called a color,I settled for the old "African American."
Baybiiie 11
*sigh* don't be an idiot. White people have pink or yellow undertones just as we have olive, brown and literally black undertones in some cases. Does it make sense to call them yellow or pink people?!! Really?!! And before you have a go at me I'm fully black. British ofcourse not American.
Baybiiie 11
*sigh* don't be an idiot! White people have yellow or pinky undertones and are not literally white just as we have olive, brown and in some cases literally black undertones. Does it make sense to call them pink or yellow people?!!! Really?!! And before you have a go at me I'm fully black. British ofcourse not American.
Zimmington 21
122- Did I say I wanted to be called Brown? No I didn't. I said some people don't like being called black because they're not technically black. I don't care if you're British if you want to argue about pigments & undertones find someone who cares.
ballpython 15
I could not agree more. By that logic people from South America should be called South American-Americans, Right?
MrSarary 26
I must admit that despite the class being distracted that was quite a funny remark hahahaha.
Enslaved 38
"Black hole sun, Won't you come And wash away the rain? Black hole sun, Won't you come? Won't you cum?" :P
perdix 31
And the new Chris Rock is born! You were kind of asking for it by using the term "sucked in" with high school kids. Sucking has many different meanings to them and the action of a vacuum is way down the list.
tman1985 9
back in the day, you didnt fornicate with a certain garden tool
caitylynn05 16
How old were these kids?!
perdix 31
High school juniors are usually 16-17 years old.
Wraith09 15
I can't say you deserved it or that your life sucks. It was funny, and I hope you got a laugh from it too.