Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
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Top comments
Syn_fml 0
Wait - blind date at.......Hooters!? You ALMOST deserve it for that alone.
holynemesis1208 3
haha. thats horrible i hope that definately effected her tip in the form of none.
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Comments (65)
MyLifeIsPerfecto 0
The hooters waitress should be writing this same story from her POV on FML (whats with me abbrev. evrthin?) right now because she sounds like an idiot. Speech impediments suck but with many cases, practice can really improve it. The point is, is that hooters may have terrible service and atmosphere that's not quite ideal for a first date...but they got great wings so i approve.
saxxyphone49 0
You could have just left it at "Today, I had a blind date at hooters. FML"
Cortney 0
Blind dates are overrated. FYL
hockeyfanisles1 0
all u ppl should be sympathetic this person whose gonna struggle most of there lives the ppl who showed sympathy ty this person should know there are decent ppl out there and u dont even know if this is a chick or a guy or two chicks maybe lesbians on a date and whoever set it up maybe they set them up to go to hooters think about it assholes
poulkrebs 20
My head hurts
MinorOED 0
Awww, dude, that sucks the big one. She does, however, work at Hooters, so in the end, you're definitely not the loser in this situation. :)
CaptainCrunch_fml 0
Oh whatever, I'm tired of all this pity. If you have a speech impediment, then you shouldn't be at Hooter's for blind date, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you're a girl, then that was stupid because the guy you're with is going to be checking out all of the Hooter's girls. If you're a boy, then that was stupid because you obviously don't care enough to try and impress her. If your impediment was so awful, you'd take her somewhere nicer.
Stormcloak429 14
I think we can all agree that a blind date at Hooters sounds awful, but what the hell does OP's speech impediment have to do with it? "If your impediment was so awful, you'd take her someplace nicer." Are you seriously implying that if OP didn't have any speech issues, the date location would be okay, but since he has the impediment, it's totally forbidden??
Rayn4u_fml 0
Maybe the waitress was stoned.
Bunbu 8
That is so insensitive. She probably has the IQ of a grape. I mean, she does work at Hooters.
dpressedninja 0
yeah. like. blind date at Hooters? you want you first impression on someone to be checking out other woman? did you choose this place?
TheBigDawg 8
I don't have a speech impediment, but this is why whenever I'm at a restaurant, I actually point to the item(s) I want to order, in case it's hard to understand me.