Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
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Top comments
Syn_fml 0
Wait - blind date at.......Hooters!? You ALMOST deserve it for that alone.
holynemesis1208 3
haha. thats horrible i hope that definately effected her tip in the form of none.
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Comments (65)
evilxxsnipez 0
that happened to me once when I went to pizza pizza the women asked me if I was drunk cuz I have a speech impediment to
HelloNoora1 0
stoned means high. you can complain that an employee offended you and they give you coupons or a free meal
juston_p 1
I'm sorry man, some people can be assholes.
epicman1998 0
**** hooters
Feklfekl2222 32
I can't say Rs so when I'm introducing myself people always go pardon, pardon,pardon. Until my friends say it for me :(
crystalrain17 14
YDI for taking a date to Hooters, and even going there in the first place. Suck it up.
banana96_fml 0
me 2 it sucks
videokid2000 10
I wish I could only not say Rs right.. I mispronounce almost every letter. :/
videokid2000 10
Ok, then other people need to know sign language to talk to the OP.
Iloveepicfails 0
I have a speech problem to so **** her