Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML
Rapunzel1974 tells us more.
Rapunzel1974 23
I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Top comments
grimrepa2007 3
OP. I'm going to assume you like chickens.... alot
NinjaJellyfish 27
Let them have their treats OP. Fatten them up. And when they're least expecting it.... Chicken pie time.
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Comments (128)
Rapunzel1974 23
And... if anyone is cleaning up the "state" additions, instead of "Mississippi" it should probably be "New Mexico" since that's where I live, and where all this vicious chicken Ninjutsu is going on. Or "denial". It's safe to say I live in "denial".
hippo1234 19
I wish I could thumb you up!
NeatNit 33
uhh, you can.
LeFrogDog 27
I must ask. why did the chicken cross the road? been wandering since I was a child
nature_girl_08 14
just want to say that the way you word your responses are absolutely epic <3
rogwest 23
New Mexico sucks! Lived there for a year an was miserable the whole time!
AninOnin 24
@108: So the obvious thing to do is to spread the misery, right? Or is that not what you were going for?
hallix 21
#104 - it's a suicidal chicken joke. To get to the other side... Yeah, took me a while too. OP, did you just mention Naruto ninjutsu while talking about chicken? XD
furbyface711 9
A lot of my coworkers have chickens as pets. It's common in central Florida. People keep them for eggs. I also work at a zoo, so a lot of us have interesting pets. A friend of mine actually has a degree in livestock and chickens.
roxy15_fml 8
Happiness is what you make of it
Coeliacchic93 21
112 holy crap! I didn't know that.....
MC2NextLevel 7
In that case, you better acquire a taste for chicken.
SanpakuEyes 18
Chickens are apparently smarter than I thought they were. Good for the chickens, bad for your fingers. Perhaps you should wear gloves at feeding time.
whyisitincapital 25
I'm not gonna lie. This FML is cute and hilarious.
saucyrossi 18
I hope you work with Gus at Los Pollos Hermanos
unknownjedi112 7
Get a real pet. Chickens are farm animals, they aren't meant to "behave"
Speshelphreak 13
Horses ARE farm animals too and they're meant to "behave".... Just saying
iwadasn 33
All domestic animals can be taught to behave, to varying degrees. Horses are farm animals too, and they can be taught all kinds of things.
jeepers_1 21
So can cattle and pigs for that matter
fakedsincerity 32
close minded.
Anyb0dyTh 8
Try one chicken at a time
Namenlos_fml 20
It's like when dogs learn they can get your attention by bumping you in the crotch with their snout. Bad behavior, yet effective.
JesseAttack 21
Not so stupid after all them chickens, huh? Get back at them by roasting one of em' in front of all the other chickens. BBQ time!