Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for putting away her rain coat and two sweaters that were hanging on the back of chairs. Because, “I was about to do that!” My mistake. They had only been there for a week. Ah, marital bliss. FML
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument, which resulted in her begging for a divorce, and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML
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Top comments
Charmillionaire 13
That's when you splatter paint all over it.
Octain 13
I don't think ruining it would be the best thing to do here... I could only imagine how she'd act after that.
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Comments (150)
DarthVader77 9
Welcome back to singlehood! Enjoy every day of it!
poccocurantes 7
So you married Susan Luci.
poccocurantes 7
That's like presuming your tax problems went away. Women and the IRS never forget.
ruikuku 5
I can't feel sorry for you at all op, it's just too funny!
buckdharma 38
White is a good primer, but she'll still need a second coat.
missababgaga 19
Wow, your wife is quite the drama queen
mosquito19 14
it's not resolved. you just think it is. btw, she's funny
kingsian 15
Til death do you part
justjimmy89 5
dude, women.. but in other news, I just saved a load of money on my car insurance by switching to geico
crzysam96 7
Wow someone overreacts. If I were you I'd let her paint in it and make her own mistakes.