Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML
Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
Today, I asked my son to show his grandma how to do some basic stuff on the computer. He said no way, he knows how long it takes old people to grasp computers. I jokingly threatened to ground him for 6 months unless he did it. He took the 6 months without hesitating. FML
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
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Top comments
airforce987 20
Lol man, I feel ya. Old people say "kids these days" but they don't appreciate our technological savvy-ness!
RavagedSouI 0
Old people and modern technology never mix
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Comments (153)
Garytt 0
I dont one bit of this fml
i_am_that_one 0
That's how my dad is. Except he doesn't smack the shit outta me...
cBlackout 13
Lol my friends grandpa is a halo MLG
SangFroid 3
Honey, that's called abuse. You shouldn't have to put up with it no matter what state your grandma is in, and your mom shouldn't make you put up with it. It is NEVER okay to hit, threaten or verbally intimidate someone, especially a family member. I hope you will realize this and that it needs to stop. Tell your grandma AND your mother to stop this kind of behavior.
wriptidez 0
she was in the wrong... treat her like a child and say if ur not going to behave we wont learn this today lol
muchagente 5
why do you teach her if she doesn't want it?
divadro102 16
In my day we had no computers. We would set up tv sets to form a bigger picture. There were no e-mails, we encyrpted ourselves in torn scriptures. Youtubes? The 12 o'clock show with the local nanny was all we needed. Bit-torrent police? Our blocks were always heated. I etched mathematical equations on her back while she stretched open the welcome mat. There were pens and rulers, not graphical tutors. We drew on walls to get the message across but the local post felt the need to withdraw. We used the dictionary to search engines, not some computer slang and colloquial expressions. It fit needs to not make sense, but that's what happens you download the Sixth Sense. You walk along a crowded corridor, weaving, dodging, like an invisible matador. You flag down the culprits but they rise up like broken china dolls. There's no escape from aporia as it lodges itself deep into your thoughts as you write out the upcoming plot. We lived on entelechy and gumption itself. Back to the TVs, they didn't really work; we ended up with bats and mostly hit the dirt. No other way to get a clearer picture, but get some head from the neighborhood stripper. There's not more to fit and explain, although she really had to bend to our ways, but back in my day we had bigger brains.
mistersheezy 7
Your gran kicks ass....Yours!!!!
Hazardsoflove 11
hahaha ******* old people.
SamanthaSaurus 13
Thank god my gran understands the interwebs.