Today, my family was going to go out on a boat to celebrate Independence Day. We agreed we'd be at the marina by 11:45 AM. It's currently 1:45 PM and half of the family is still asleep while two are nursing hangovers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML
Today, during my family's traditional fourth of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML
Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML
Today, all I wanted was to take my two kids and their two favourite cousins to the beach on their last day of vacation together. My mother-in-law went into full beast mode, shouting about how I'm always roaming around and being irresponsible. The kids never meet and are from different cities. FML
Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML
Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML
Today, all of my friends showed up an hour late for my 18th birthday party because they decided to go get dinner without me. FML
Today, I feel hung over. Don’t feel up to anything except slouching on the sofa, nursing my headache. Must have been one hell of a party, lots of booze, right? Actually, all I did was go to bed at 11:30 last night, instead of my usual 8:30. FML
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Top comments
Fritterzz 13
They seem to be independent people.
RichardPencil 32
Ironically, your day is ruined because you are dependent on those shit people! "When in the course of human events, ..."
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Comments (13)
Fritterzz 13
They seem to be independent people.
Uralriver 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Today I got a message with the word....Platonic. How do you respond to Platonic... with a nice Apathetic F-U! ??
gobiteme2 34
And you are standing there why.
davek 36
Bloody traitors, throwing perfectly good tea into the harbour and all that. God Save the Queen!
RichardPencil 32
Ironically, your day is ruined because you are dependent on those shit people! "When in the course of human events, ..."
artybicardi 6
Am I the only one who thinks the writer actually had a fun family? ?
Stealthninjaa 19
This post seems more like a "MLIA".
RollingToTheTop 4
**I thought that was what the whole holiday was about. Oh, wait. Fireworks?**
smartjaguargurl 17
That's when you go without them. **** them. Don't let it ruin your day.
olga_crvjl 19
Lol damn and I thought my my family sucked At punctuality lol