Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, It's been a few months since I started reading the Harry Potter books to my daughter. She told me a list of all her favorite characters. I didn't have the heart to tell her that every single one of them dies by the end of the seventh book. FML
Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML
Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
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Top comments
pedegg 0
Okay, everyone seems to be forgetting that eleven year olds ARE idiots. Even if they know the book is fiction, they still WANT it to be real- and if the outside world gives them a glimpse of hope that maybe it's more than fiction, they WILL believe it because they WANT it to be real. I waited for my Hogwarts letter when I was turning eleven. I didn't really think I'd get one, and when I didn't I wasn't crushed, but if I HAD gotten one I'd probably have shit myself. This mother obviously has never been obsessed with something like 11 year olds can be with this book series. That, or she's just a bitch. She should have known better than to have made the poor kid think she was going off to live in a magical world and then taken it away. That's horrible. Just take her to see the damn movie.
mynameisnotjudie 0
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?!?! Ugg I can't even begin to tell you how terrible that is. The poor little girl! An eleven year old really has no way of knowing that was fake because the excitement blinds them ;- )
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Comments (608)
vanaathiel 13
For all you people going on and on about how stupid the daughter is, you sound pretty stupid yourself...she's a little girl! Its called having an imagination! OP, hopefully you made it up to her by taking her to see the new movie!
Fop 6
You're not a little girl at 11. That phase is over at 8, 9 or even 10 depending on the person.
MissNae 0
You say it finishes at 8, 9 or 10 depending on the person, but it definitely over by 11. You are an idiot. An 11 year old should definitely still be a little girl.
babybarb 0
You're a horrible, horrible person. YDI
eidoobaeikooc 0
Poor you.. really.. that's gotta hurt.. But she's just a little girl everyone ...
senordude 0
FYL for having a daughter that likes Harry Potter :[
fireandice92 0
I was the biggest fan at age 11 and I sent myself a letter on my birthday. (There was this email thing you could sign up for) I knew it wasn't real, but I still pretended at that age.
leagan66 0
oh my gosh can you still do that? I`m 15, and i would LOVE to have that! If it`s still going can you post the link to it?
Abirys 0
Lol FYL if my parents did that for me I would have been thrilled but I. Would've known it was fake ....
jjenniferr05 0
I don't get why She DI, Seriously, at the age of 11, a girl should be clever enough to realise its fake. I mean c'mon.. The books are films too now, its a fiction film. It was a nice gesture, a bit of a joke for her, And the kid completely over-reacted. At 11, i knew santa and all that wasn't real, plus unicorns bla bla blaaa.
bella_brasil 0
Wow i can see most of you haven't been around all different types of 11 year olds. There are the ones who spazz about that stuff and those who actually know it's not true. Relax, you don't deserve it. She'll grow out of that phase.
alwaysalady 0
I would be dissapointed. I'm 21 and I still think my letter got lost in the mail. However I did find a site that will make letters for your child, but I had it made with my name instead.
Fop 6
All the people saying the OP deserves it: Why? Do you honestly expect an 11 year old to act like a 5 year old? Maybe you want the "adult" year to be 30 too? Saying that the kid did NOT overreact kinda indicates that you want to raise your own children to believe movies are real until the age of 11. I don't.